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Libhater
09-07-2013, 06:57 AM
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few pounds off your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'Cathy', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!

Captain Obvious
09-07-2013, 06:09 PM
Back atcha...

Husband is sitting on the patio while the wife is bending over to water the border plants. Husband says "you know, your ass is getting pretty big - it's as big as my grill over there".

Later on in bed the husband gets a little frisky and starts prodding around the wife's side of the bed. Wife says "forget it - I ain't firing up this big ass grill for one little weenie".