Invisible Veterans

[Adelaide]

"I was on the floor, curled up in a ball in the bathroom...my four-week-old son was crying in his crib, waiting for me to go feed him, and I couldn't...I couldn't get up."

That was my wife, standing onstage before 500 members of our community, describing her darkest, yet most redemptive, moment as a military spouse and mother of two small children.

On the wooden floor of our bathroom, feeling abandoned by her suffering husband, her “Marine hero,” a man who had the night before checked himself into the mental ward at the VA hospital for life-threatening post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), my wife was paralyzed by fear and anxiety. A tough, energetic, and disciplined woman—Kristen had earned a PhD in educational psychology at the University of Virginia—she was now reduced to frayed nerves, confused and upset that she couldn't just pull herself out of her misery.

Though she didn’t know it at the time, Kristen was suffering from both postpartum depression and “secondary PTSD,” an oft-overlooked condition afflicting thousands of military spouses (and children) whose loved ones are themselves battling PTSD. Many of the symptoms of secondary PTSD rhyme with those of PTSD: social withdrawal; hypervigilance; jumpiness; anger; depression; and—in my case, though not hers—substance abuse.

You see, the person who checked himself into the VA hospital, a man with so much apparent promise and potential, heralded as a hero by friends who were impressed by his decision to join the Marines following 9/11, was just an ordinary man trying to cope with extraordinary circumstances.

...

She was another casualty of the war, inflicted thousands of miles from the battlefield.

I got to wear the medals of recognition upon my chest, and all she got was the thankless job of caring for a disabled veteran—an inequity that must be fixed. This Veteran’s Day, while the country honors the bravery and selflessness of our proud warriors who fight for our country, I will celebrate the service and sacrifice of my wife and of all military spouses, people every bit as deserving of public recognition for their service to our country as we vets.

The next time you see a soldier or a Marine in uniform with their family in tow, remember that the spouse and their children may have suffered every bit as much, if not more, than the service member that deployed into harm's way. A genuine "Thank you for your sacrifice" is a nice gesture that can go a long way toward making a military spouse feel valued and understood.

An Iraq Vet Honors an "Invisible Veteran"; His Wife - The Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/the-hero-project/articles/2013/11/10/an-iraq-vet-honors-an-invisible-veteran-his-wife.html)

I thought this was a touching article - I actually cried. I think he makes a very good point, and it's inspirational to hear of people accepting and dealing with PTSD (including secondary). I've obviously never been to war but I can relate to that.

[oceanloverOH]

What a great article! I read it several times....also with tears in my eyes.

Dad, as a Marine in the 60s and 70s, went to VietNam several times, for a year at a time. He was, and is, an extremely strong-charactered man with a will of iron. Though he suffered horrors that he he is only now telling me about, 45 years later; he did not need medical care to cope with the stress. But Dad was still changed, a different man....quieter, more introspective....and sometimes given to bursts of anger and temper that he never had prior to the VietNam years. I've never heard of "secondary PTSD"....but remembering how Mom was with Dad after his VietNam tours.....their relationship definitely changed; she had no idea how to react to him anymore, and seemed to dip into depression frequently.....there's no doubt that she was suffering with this malady.

Thank you for posting this, Adelaide.
Codename Section, Cthulhu, The Wash.....you guys should read this article.

[Cthulhu]

I did, but I have mixed feelings on the matter. Thus my true feelings on the matter will remain in the shadows for now.

[oceanloverOH]

I did, but I have mixed feelings on the matter. Thus my true feelings on the matter will remain in the shadows for now.

When you sort out what you're feeling, I would really like to know and discuss, OK?

[Cthulhu]

When you sort out what you're feeling, I would really like to know and discuss, OK?

Allow me to rephrase. It is not that my feelings are mixed - I know what I think about it. It is the feelings on whether I should post it or not. Because it would likely piss off a few people. Knowing my seemingly emotionless delivery, I see no need to disrupt the pond waters.

[oceanloverOH]

It's up to you, Cthulhu, whether you post anything or not, of course. But you ARE allowed your opinion, whether or not others agree. As long as it's not posted rudely or mean-spiritedly.....and you're very articulate in the written word, so I don't see that happening. But again, up to you.

[Codename Section]

:(


I don't have a "wife", but I do have Alyosha who was unfortunate to get me as her bodyguard right as I was on terminal and going marine reserves.

Most of the time I'm fine. I have been able to just "get 'er done". I do what I have to do because that is the mission. Because I can function and tell jokes and dance and laugh I always thought the deployments didn't effect me. Yeh, loud noises like car door slams send me into crouch position. Yeh, I see someone from the ME and I watch them closely til they move out of sight. These and other things are there in my head, but I kept thinking I was "alright". I've seen dudes jacked by deployment and they weren't "me".

I don't have violent thoughts about hurting other people. I have sometimes violent thoughts about hurting me. So I'll go do martial arts and let some scrawny guy pummel me that I could easily beat up. I'll excercize my body til it hurts and I like that feeling. I feel "punished".

I didn't even like Alyosha at first because she was this goody two shoes with her perfect marine husband who would never have the feelings inside that I had. He was so perfect that he couldn't feel this way. No way.

One day we were in her apartment and there was gunfire and I shoved her down and we lay on the floor and I looked at her big old eyes that trusted me to know what to do and I thought to myself that I would break myself before I'd ever let someone take this beautiful person and hurt her. I just teared up and her being her, she reached out and petted my head. I think I grabbed her hand and tried to stop her because why would I, this government trained weapon of mass destruction, deserve an act of kindness like that. She just used the other hand and rubbed my head some more and we laid there talking and crying together for an hour.

Then I became her pet project to heal and instead of me rescuing her from the bad guys it was all about her rescuing me from myself. She introduced me to a pack of nerds and D&D freaks and places like this.

I know she can get rough with people. I've seen it. But she's dealt with three out of control, grumpy, popped devil dogs and tried to heal all of us. She's a dog whisperer, I guess.

So, she's my invisible veteran that I would salute. ((blows kiss)) Thank you.

And thanks also to Peter1469 who reached out to me when he barely knew me. Cthulhu who has done more for me than any of you can ever know Ethereal you too, devil dog. thanks for the words the other day The Wash you know you got me through some dark nights that I will never forget


also jillian and oceanloverOH they've mothered me more than someone ought to do for a stray. thank you both

I guess I'm posting all this because maybe some vet will read it. Maybe someone who was SF like me who thinks that what he's feeling is normal that all that adrenalin is "fine"...I hope you all have someone you can talk to like I do. I hope you let someone pet you on the head even if you don't want it. Just share something with someone out there. Get it out so its not inside.

[Cthulhu]

Then I became her pet project to heal and instead of me rescuing her from the bad guys it was all about her rescuing me from myself. She introduced me to a pack of nerds and D&D freaks and places like this.

Ah c'mon, we're not all that bad.


I guess I'm posting all this because maybe some vet will read it. Maybe someone who was SF like me who thinks that what he's feeling is normal that all that adrenalin is "fine"...I hope you all have someone you can talk to like I do. I hope you let someone pet you on the head even if you don't want it. Just share something with someone out there. Get it out so its not inside.

There is wisdom in this. And sadly some do not get such opportunities to relieve themselves of these burdens, or are too afraid to open up for fear of either scorn or retaliation.

[Codename Section]

Ah c'mon, we're not all that bad.

Naw you're pretty good.





There is wisdom in this. And sadly some do not get such opportunities to relieve themselves of these burdens, or are too afraid to open up for fear of either scorn or retaliation.

And you know why, too. The ONLY reason why I just said all that is because of Alyosha because if someone came for me she'd put on the lawyer suit and get me out.

That's is what you and I and Ethereal and The Wash and Peter all deep down secretly fear. That someone from the government will show up and drag us out of our homes like they did Brandon Raub--and jillian trust me now is not the time to say what you're thinking.

I am so tired of having to defend my feelings about the war, the government that sent us, and how I feel about it. I am not ready to go "Homeland". I'm not about to hurt ANYONE. Yes, I'm trained but all of that made me the last person who would want to hurt someone in this world.

I don't want to be afraid and I resent feeling like I do. There are thousands of vets picked up. We all in the marines know one or two. There's even a huge lawsuit about this right now. If anything on Veterans Day I want to talk about them. I want to talk about the fears we have. I want to talk about being left alone to sort it out ourselves.

I want peace in my life, and I want it for my friends. I don't want to ONLY feel like I can talk because I have a lawyer that loves me.


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5BVl_RFXsU0/UDWtMZ6M0UI/AAAAAAABJeI/X9Bj_LisOFw/s1600/309286_497757536919643_1630420030_n.jpg

[Codename Section]

Dammit. People should know. They should know what it's like for us. Why is it that I only trust other marines? At home I have no friends outside the Corps beside Alyosha...green arrow I guess now that he's in VA but that's because of alyosha too.

I would meet girls and they would either say first that I look like Sam W or they would ask me if I killed anyone in Iraq and what was that like. From the break it would go one of two ways, either I looked like this person or did I kill someone.

WTF? That's the kind of bar conversation I got and I got resentful and my attitude about women took a huge nosedive for awhile.

It is also why marines recycle the dependapotami because they already know the answers to those questions.

MEH

MEH

MEH

[Dr. Who]

Dammit. People should know. They should know what it's like for us. Why is it that I only trust other marines? At home I have no friends outside the Corps beside Alyosha...green arrow I guess now that he's in VA but that's because of alyosha too.

I would meet girls and they would either say first that I look like Sam W or they would ask me if I killed anyone in Iraq and what was that like. From the break it would go one of two ways, either I looked like this person or did I kill someone.

WTF? That's the kind of bar conversation I got and I got resentful and my attitude about women took a huge nosedive for awhile.

It is also why marines recycle the dependapotami because they already know the answers to those questions.

MEH

MEH

MEH

Bars are a lousy place to find women who you can talk to and/or date. It's a shallow fake environment made less real by alcohol. OK if you're looking to pick up a one night stand, but the odds are truly against even finding a friend. Cooking classes, grocery stores, coffee shops, parks and the like are much more fertile ground. Even, heaven forbid, on-line dating sites have more going for them.

[The Wash]

Dammit. People should know. They should know what it's like for us. Why is it that I only trust other marines? At home I have no friends outside the Corps beside Alyosha...green arrow I guess now that he's in VA but that's because of alyosha too.

I would meet girls and they would either say first that I look like Sam W or they would ask me if I killed anyone in Iraq and what was that like. From the break it would go one of two ways, either I looked like this person or did I kill someone.

WTF? That's the kind of bar conversation I got and I got resentful and my attitude about women took a huge nosedive for awhile.

It is also why marines recycle the dependapotami because they already know the answers to those questions.

MEH

MEH

MEH


Yeh. I'm stuck with this white fool with his country music listening, biscuits and gravy eating hillbilly self. I could be out talking to fat booty black females but instead I have to talk to the white strippers who follow his dumb country ass home. Why? Because what if I say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get my black ass Brandon Raub'd?

And you know they would come for me worse because I'm a black man saying the half-white president aint got no clothes on. I am aware of the game. They don't want an intelligent black man saying that Obama and Bush are the same person. Oh no. They want blacks to either be some porch negro that cuddles up to the Republicans or a bot that praises everything that fool in the Oval Office says.

I am stuck with other vets and other marines. My life consists of strippers, playstation, and going to work.

[Codename Section]

Yeh. I'm stuck with this white fool with his country music listening, biscuits and gravy eating hillbilly self. I could be out talking to fat booty black females but instead I have to talk to the white strippers who follow his dumb country ass home. Why? Because what if I say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get my black ass Brandon Raub'd?

And you know they would come for me worse because I'm a black man saying the half-white president aint got no clothes on. I am aware of the game. They don't want an intelligent black man saying that Obama and Bush are the same person. Oh no. They want blacks to either be some porch negro that cuddles up to the Republicans or a bot that praises everything that fool in the Oval Office says.

I am stuck with other vets and other marines. My life consists of strippers, playstation, and going to work.

Uhhhh, I'm sure it's killing you. :D

[oceanloverOH]

Codename Section, you just ripped me to shreds inside and started me bawling. But (hard to explain)....kind of in a good way, because we both know we're good friends, and you know you can talk to me ANY time, about ANYthing, and I'll never judge you. I've never walked a mile in your combat boots, but I try very hard to understand how you feel as a combat veteran (and I mostly succeed). I can't swear to God that you are totally emotionally safe exposing all those still-raw nerves here in tPF.....like any forum, we do have our trolls who sometimes flap their gums without thinking. But you gotta know your back is covered here, always.

And God bless Alyosha!

[Dr. Who]

Yeh. I'm stuck with this white fool with his country music listening, biscuits and gravy eating hillbilly self. I could be out talking to fat booty black females but instead I have to talk to the white strippers who follow his dumb country ass home. Why? Because what if I say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get my black ass Brandon Raub'd?

And you know they would come for me worse because I'm a black man saying the half-white president aint got no clothes on. I am aware of the game. They don't want an intelligent black man saying that Obama and Bush are the same person. Oh no. They want blacks to either be some porch negro that cuddles up to the Republicans or a bot that praises everything that fool in the Oval Office says.

I am stuck with other vets and other marines. My life consists of strippers, playstation, and going to work.

Sounds like you guys need to get yourselves invited to a nice BBQ with lots of single ladies with something going for themselves.

[oceanloverOH]

Yeh. I'm stuck with this white fool with his country music listening, biscuits and gravy eating hillbilly self. I could be out talking to fat booty black females but instead I have to talk to the white strippers who follow his dumb country ass home. Why? Because what if I say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get my black ass Brandon Raub'd?

And you know they would come for me worse because I'm a black man saying the half-white president aint got no clothes on. I am aware of the game. They don't want an intelligent black man saying that Obama and Bush are the same person. Oh no. They want blacks to either be some porch negro that cuddles up to the Republicans or a bot that praises everything that fool in the Oval Office says.

I am stuck with other vets and other marines. My life consists of strippers, playstation, and going to work.

And now us at tPF, The Wash! Say what you feel, my friend. Most here will do their best to understand.

[The Xl]

You got strippers following you home? Sounds like that could be trouble...

[The Wash]

@Codename Section (http://thepoliticalforums.com/member.php?u=866), you just ripped me to shreds inside and started me bawling. But (hard to explain)....kind of in a good way, because we both know we're good friends, and you know you can talk to me ANY time, about ANYthing, and I'll never judge you. I've never walked a mile in your combat boots, but I try very hard to understand how you feel as a combat veteran (and I mostly succeed). I can't swear to God that you are totally emotionally safe exposing all those still-raw nerves here in tPF.....like any forum, we do have our trolls who sometimes flap their gums without thinking. But you gotta know your back is covered here, always.

And God bless @Alyosha (http://thepoliticalforums.com/member.php?u=863)!


See now you got me going. I should never have joined this place. Codename is a good damn dude. His problem is that he always has to take care of everyone and when he can't he lets it get to him. Sometimes shit happens. We know that and he needs to learn that. He's always done his best for us. I got no complaints about what kind of friend he is. He's the best kind of friend.

"Alyosha" whoever she is here is an alright lady. Class act all the way.

[fyrenza]

I did, but I have mixed feelings on the matter. Thus my true feelings on the matter will remain in the shadows for now.

My feelings aren't quite as mixed ~

at the very moment that her husband and her baby needed her the most,

she couldn't put her own self aside to BE THERE for them.

You know, folks USED to have Character ~
a moral compass that kept them going, through HORRENDOUS catastrophes,
because they felt that they OWED it to the people that they loved,
AND THEMSELVES,

to Be Responsible.

[oceanloverOH]

See now you got me going. I should never have joined this place. Codename is a good damn dude. His problem is that he always has to take care of everyone and when he can't he lets it get to him. Sometimes shit happens. We know that and he needs to learn that. He's always done his best for us. I got no complaints about what kind of friend he is. He's the best kind of friend.

"Alyosha" whoever she is here is an alright lady. Class act all the way.

Truth. I count myself quite fortunate that I know her! You will too, once you've had a few conversations with her. She has some very strong and well-founded political opinions....and a heart of gold. Rare combination.

[The Wash]

And now us at tPF, @The Wash (http://thepoliticalforums.com/member.php?u=906)! Say what you feel, my friend. Most here will do their best to understand.

If I said how I really felt I'd be afraid there would be a knock at our door. That's how the government made us feel by hauling off our brother just for posting song lyrics. Some damn lyrics and he gets dragged outta his home. Then we have this Obamabots out there trying to still preach his hope and change to us.

Dude, it is hope and shame!

[jillian]

[QUOTE=Codename Section;419783]Naw you're pretty good.[/quote[

why shouldn't i say what i think? this is a message board Codename Section. We all have our personal sensitivities. But I have every right to think what i do… and what believe seems to be a heck of a lot more mainstream than most of what passes for discussion on this board.

just saying.

[The Wash]

Truth. I count myself quite fortunate that I know her! You will too, once you've had a few conversations with her. She has some very strong and well-founded political opinions....and a heart of gold. Rare combination.

If we're talking about the same person that I know she and I are good.

[Peter1469]

Sounds like you guys need to get yourselves invited to a nice BBQ with lots of single ladies with something going for themselves.


Hey, you know those strip joint girls are only working there for college money.... :shocked:

[The Wash]

Hey, you know those strip joint girls are only working there for college money.... :shocked:

They aint making shit at our house.

[The Wash]

[QUOTE=Codename Section;419783]Naw you're pretty good.[/quote[

why shouldn't i say what i think? this is a message board @Codename Section (http://thepoliticalforums.com/member.php?u=866). We all have our personal sensitivities. But I have every right to think what i do… and what believe seems to be a heck of a lot more mainstream than most of what passes for discussion on this board.

just saying.


There is a time and a place for saying stuff. When someone is vulnerable is NOT the time to say something that is only gonna make it worse. I personally get very angry with people who don't know that cat, don't know what he's about, and read Huffpo or whatever and didn't bother looking up what happened in his case. They made out like he came up with those words. If those words are so "dangerous" how come they aren't arresting the artist who created the song? Why aren't they arresting Rage Against the Machine?

[jillian]

There is a time and a place for saying stuff. When someone is vulnerable is NOT the time to say something that is only gonna make it worse. I personally get very angry with people who don't know that cat, don't know what he's about, and read Huffpo or whatever and didn't bother looking up what happened in his case. They made out like he came up with those words. If those words are so "dangerous" how come they aren't arresting the artist who created the song? Why aren't they arresting Rage Against the Machine?

see, i like CS. it's not personal. but as i said to him, if someone has an issue with a particular subject, that's fine. but… it isn't fair to post on a subject, frequently, and then say "oh, but you can't respond". it isn't at all that i don't understand the sensitivity… but, and this isn't directed at him… when you have a "sensitivity" and people aren't supposed to engage on that subject, perhaps that subject shouldn't be repeatedly raised by the person in question in a multitude of threads.

so yeah, it's not about *not* understanding what someone is about… it's very much understanding what they're about.

[Dr. Who]

[QUOTE=jillian;419831]


There is a time and a place for saying stuff. When someone is vulnerable is NOT the time to say something that is only gonna make it worse. I personally get very angry with people who don't know that cat, don't know what he's about, and read Huffpo or whatever and didn't bother looking up what happened in his case. They made out like he came up with those words. If those words are so "dangerous" how come they aren't arresting the artist who created the song? Why aren't they arresting Rage Against the Machine?

They are trying to shut you up because you are exposing the lies. They can't do it like the Chinese or as some dictatorship might, so they used the guise of mental illness to suppress Brandon's voice. They must really be scared. They can't control the internet like they do the media. There are millions of ex GIs all over the internet right now telling the truth and shaming the devil. Brandon got too big a following and they had to silence him. No one can keep a lid on the truth forever. It's only a matter of time.

[jillian]

They are trying to shut you up because you are exposing the lies. They can't do it like the Chinese or as some dictatorship might, so they used the guise of mental illness to suppress Brandon's voice. They must really be scared. They can't control the internet like they do the media. There are millions of ex GIs all over the internet right now telling the truth and shaming the devil. Brandon got too big a following and they had to silence him. No one can keep a lid on the truth forever. It's only a matter of time.

the only ones i see trying to shut anyone up are the people telling me not to respond because "there's a time and place" and some people are "too sensitive".

*shrug*

[The Wash]

They are trying to shut you up because you are exposing the lies. They can't do it like the Chinese or as some dictatorship might, so they used the guise of mental illness to suppress Brandon's voice. They must really be scared. They can't control the internet like they do the media. There are millions of ex GIs all over the internet right now telling the truth and shaming the devil. Brandon got too big a following and they had to silence him. No one can keep a lid on the truth forever. It's only a matter of time.

That is exactly right. They don't want us to talk about what we were really doing there, but we all know. They can lie to everyone else, but not to us.

[The Wash]

the only ones i see trying to shut anyone up are the people telling me not to respond because "there's a time and place" and some people are "too sensitive".

*shrug*


Asking nicely aint kicking your door in.

[jillian]

Asking nicely aint kicking your door in.

the comment was that some were being kept from talking.

i stand by what i said. if a subject is too sensitive for discussion, it shouldn't be raised by the person claiming it's too sensitive. and frankly, we all have issues we're sensitive about.

[Dr. Who]

the only ones i see trying to shut anyone up are the people telling me not to respond because "there's a time and place" and some people are "too sensitive".

*shrug*

Is this coming from another thread?

[The Wash]

the comment was that some were being kept from talking.

i stand by what i said. if a subject is too sensitive for discussion, it shouldn't be raised by the person claiming it's too sensitive. and frankly, we all have issues we're sensitive about.

And people should be sensitive to those issues when they can tell someone's having a hard time.

[Libhater]

One thing is for sure, you won't be seeing any of these victims of PTSD be it the original carrier or the secondary carrier taking sensitivity classes any time soon.

[Codename Section]

That is exactly right. They don't want us to talk about what we were really doing there, but we all know. They can lie to everyone else, but not to us.

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/995891_10151695544546791_1582724401_n.jpg

[Codename Section]

the comment was that some were being kept from talking.

i stand by what i said. if a subject is too sensitive for discussion, it shouldn't be raised by the person claiming it's too sensitive. and frankly, we all have issues we're sensitive about.

I am willing to do a thread on Brandon Raub. I was asking for this topic to not derail over it. That's all.

[Libhater]

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/995891_10151695544546791_1582724401_n.jpg


And what exactly does this nonsense have to do with PTSD?

[Dr. Who]

And what exactly does this nonsense have to do with PTSD?

It has to do with the conflicts that produce the PTSD and why they occur.

[Libhater]

It has to do with the conflicts that produce the PTSD and why they occur.

Excuse me, I didn't realize that conflicts over corporate greed produced PTSD or secondary PTSD for that matter. Just curious, but do you think that the mild haggling we see on this forum over political matters such as the pro and con views over corporate greed can or does lead to a possible bout with PTSD? The reason I questioned the post by codename was because I didn't see how his caricature of corporate greed had anything at all to do with or resembling military PTSD.

[Peter1469]

Excuse me, I didn't realize that conflicts over corporate greed produced PTSD or secondary PTSD for that matter. Just curious, but do you think that the mild haggling we see on this forum over political matters such as the pro and con views over corporate greed can or does lead to a possible bout with PTSD? The reason I questioned the post by codename was because I didn't see how his caricature of corporate greed had anything at all to do with or resembling military PTSD.


I would guess that he believes that many of our foriegn wars are at the behest of the multinationals.

[Dr. Who]

Excuse me, I didn't realize that conflicts over corporate greed produced PTSD or secondary PTSD for that matter. Just curious, but do you think that the mild haggling we see on this forum over political matters such as the pro and con views over corporate greed can or does lead to a possible bout with PTSD? The reason I questioned the post by codename was because I didn't see how his caricature of corporate greed had anything at all to do with or resembling military PTSD.

If you honestly feel that the American interventions in the middle east have been for humanitarian or even security issues, I won't even try to persuade you otherwise. Let's just say that the guys who were over there and did the fighting know something that you don't, and if you don't want to believe it, that is your privilege.

[The Wash]

And what exactly does this nonsense have to do with PTSD?

Everything. Those wars weren't about finding the ones responsible for 911.

[Peter1469]

My ex said she left me because I was emotionally unavailable. After 9 years. Although she is absolutely right after my last deployment and other later issues that I won't go into, I really think her prime goal was to advance her career which meant leaving me. In other words, I was / am emotionally unavailable, but I think that she used it as an excuse to do great things in her intel world. She was largely emotionally unavailable as well....

She knew I had PTSD long before I did, she just didn't want to bother.

[Libhater]

It has to do with the conflicts that produce the PTSD and why they occur.

Wow, so what you, codename et al are saying is that according to your understanding of what caused the Vietnam conflict or any American war for that matter that led to these bouts with PTSD.......had nothing to do with Nazi or Communist aggression etc., rather, you see it as being a cause and affect malady perpetrated by those greedy corporations. Just trying to get your thought process here.

[Codename Section]

My ex said she left me because I was emotionally unavailable. After 9 years. Although she is absolutely right after my last deployment and other later issues that I won't go into, I really think her prime goal was to advance her career which meant leaving me. In other words, I was / am emotionally unavailable, but I think that she used it as an excuse to do great things in her intel world. She was largely emotionally unavailable as well....

She knew I had PTSD long before I did, she just didn't want to bother.

I don't think I am emotionally unavailable. Mine seems to manifest itself differently. I am very friendly to everyone. I just, ok, maybe I'm emotionally unavailable for the tough stuff now that I think about it.

[Peter1469]

I don't think I am emotionally unavailable. Mine seems to manifest itself differently. I am very friendly to everyone. I just, ok, maybe I'm emotionally unavailable for the tough stuff now that I think about it.

That is what I mean.

[Codename Section]

That is what I mean.

It's not that I can't or anything. I have. I shared too much with Alyosha I've shared with Wash and Ethereal and even Cthulhu I just can't do it because if I let go of the control I have on it, I'll be a puddle or something.

[Cthulhu]

It's not that I can't or anything. I have. I shared too much with @Alyosha (http://thepoliticalforums.com/member.php?u=863) I've shared with Wash and Ethereal and even Cthulhu I just can't do it because if I let go of the control I have on it, I'll be a puddle or something.

There is no shame in 'puddling' given what you have seen and done. Sometimes people need to break down to be built back up. The mind and heart are just as susceptible to injury as the body is during warfare. However our society has this 'be a man and suck it up, deal with it' way of thinking about it. While there is some merit to that, it mostly applies to things you should just suck up and deal with - like tickets from police.

But when you're talking life and death? Battlefield gore of enemies and comrades alike?

That is a new playing field entirely.

[oceanloverOH]

I think when you've seen and/or participated in the unavoidably inhuman results of a combat zone, you MUST build psychological/emotional shields and barriers, to protect yourself. Once the threat is gone (i.e., you come home), those barriers affect people in various ways. Some are able to tear their barriers right down and resume a normal psychological/emotional keel; some take a long time and a lot of work to remove the barriers......and some just can't and must have help.

[Cthulhu]

I think when you've seen and/or participated in the unavoidably inhuman results of a combat zone, you MUST build psychological/emotional shields and barriers, to protect yourself. Once the threat is gone (i.e., you come home), those barriers affect people in various ways. Some are able to tear their barriers right down and resume a normal psychological/emotional keel; some take a long time and a lot of work to remove the barriers......and some just can't and must have help.

You are correct. However due to the nature of combat operations, and the idiocy of our commanders. It is hard to combat because they keep them revved up so long that the neuropathways become semipermanent. That is why it is important to get adequate R&R after every combat encounter. Your brain needs to learn it isn't permanent. But when you are stuck in an environment for months, the brain makes its responses to loud noises permanent.

Car doors still cock my head in the direction they came from. Other loud noises still set me on alert. Although it is not as bad as it was a few years ago. And definitely not as bad as it was when I got back.

The only cure for PTSD is time and understanding. Most are unwilling to put in the time, and are not very understanding.

[Codename Section]

You are correct. However due to the nature of combat operations, and the idiocy of our commanders. It is hard to combat because they keep them revved up so long that the neuropathways become semipermanent. That is why it is important to get adequate R&R after every combat encounter. Your brain needs to learn it isn't permanent. But when you are stuck in an environment for months, the brain makes its responses to loud noises permanent.

Car doors still cock my head in the direction they came from. Other loud noises still set me on alert. Although it is not as bad as it was a few years ago. And definitely not as bad as it was when I got back.

The only cure for PTSD is time and understanding. Most are unwilling to put in the time, and are not very understanding.

I've accidentally hurt Alyosha before when a tire blew because I shoved her to the ground so hard she fell and then I "covered" her. She made the worst decision in the world hiring me to be her bodyguard now that I think about it. All she's done is "fix me".

Yes, I have done my job for her but I've also caused her so much pain since I've known her. It's just not fair to her.

[oceanloverOH]

I've accidentally hurt Alyosha before when a tire blew because I shoved her to the ground so hard she fell and then I "covered" her. She made the worst decision in the world hiring me to be her bodyguard now that I think about it. All she's done is "fix me".

Yes, I have done my job for her but I've also caused her so much pain since I've known her. It's just not fair to her.

Don't sell yourself short, Codename Section. She knows damn right well you'd take a bullet for her. I think you've both been in healing mode for the other's wounds.....and healing others is the best medicine in the world to help fix yourself. And plus, a solid friendship has resulted. Win/win in my book.

[Adelaide]

I think that due to some events over the last several years, the stigma associated with combat PTSD has increased. It's sort of like postpartum depression or psychosis - the media reports cases of women who do horrible things at the height of their illness, which complicates how others with the disorder communicate their concerns/problems/symptoms even with their spouses or family for fear of the stigma. I think another good parallel to other mental illnesses is that there can be a lot of shame associated with admitting to or being diagnosed with a condition. There is also the issue of fear of labeling - my diagnosis will follow me around for the rest of my life. I know a lot of military personnel worry about that particularly if they are currently in service or plan to become career members.

[The Sage of Main Street]

I only cried once, and that was when I was as far away from Vietnam as possible, on R&R.

[The Wash]

I've accidentally hurt Alyosha before when a tire blew because I shoved her to the ground so hard she fell and then I "covered" her. She made the worst decision in the world hiring me to be her bodyguard now that I think about it. All she's done is "fix me".

Yes, I have done my job for her but I've also caused her so much pain since I've known her. It's just not fair to her.

Dude, what is with you lately? Seriously. You do your best. Your best is a damn sight better than other people's best. You can't help what's gong on. You WILL get the job done. I have every faith in you because I have seen you pull through every time. Now, pick yourself up out of this funk and you get your white ass out there and charge that mutherfucking hill, marine!

And, btw, I'll be playing COD on your playstation until you get back.