Found this and thought some might think it fun

[valley ranch]

A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco.

While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a

very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no

price tag, but was so incredibly striking. The tourist decided

he must have it.

He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the

bronze rat?"

Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100 for

the story," said the wise old Chinaman.

The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. "I'll just take

the rat; you can keep the story".

As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the

tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the

alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street.

This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster. A

couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror

the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they

began squealing. Sweating now, the
tourist began to trot toward the Bay. Again, after a couple

blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now

numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward

him faster and faster.



Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze

rat as
far as he could into the Bay. Amazingly, the millions of rats

all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat, and were all

drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown. "Ahhh,"

said the owner, "You have come back for story?"

No sir," said the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze

Democrat."

[valley ranch]

Here's anouther~

A popular Des Moines barber shop had a new Robotic barber installed. A
> fellow came in for a haircut. As the robot began to cut his hair, it
> asked him, "What's your IQ?"
>
> The man replied, "130", so the robot proceeded to make conversation about
> physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened
> intently, and thought, "This is really cool."
>
> Later, another gent came in for a haircut, and the robot asked him as it
> began the haircut, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100", so the
> robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man
> thought to himself,
>
> "Wow, this is really cool."
>
> Later on, a third guy came in to the barber shop. As with the others,the
> robot barber asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "70".
>
> The robot then said, "So, I understand you Democrats are really excited
> about John Kerry!

[Oboe]

Heard before. Only it was a pink pigeon. Still good one.