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midcan5
01-16-2017, 03:24 PM
FNI has confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt or any doubt at all that the inauguration of Donald J Trump will be the greatest, most wonderful, most splendid, and most likely miraculous event in all of history even surpassing Roman Emperors.

Dignitaries will appear on a massive jumbotron praising Donald, several dignitaries who have passed were video taped so they could be part of a president already rated above the likes of Washington, Lincoln, and Franklin Roosevelt.

Russian President Vladamir Putin will preface the event with a lip synced Pledge of Allegiance to America and Russia while First lady Melania will plagiarize Eleanor Roosevelt and Margaret Thatcher with a speech filled with tough love and let em eat cake lines in a dress that cost more than most Americans make in three lifetimes. Later the voices of John Barron and John Miller will emanate from the jumbotron singing how great he is.

President Trump's speech has already been rated right next to the 'Sermon on the Mount, it will ask not what you can do for your country, but how you help Donald become a billionaire in the next four years, it will be added as an addendum to the Bible and taught at Charter and Christian schools everywhere.


The Reverend Makemoney Jr will offer a pray that the rich pay no taxes with footnotes to include contacts in Swiss banks and the Cayman Islands. Call in phone lines will be run on TVs so Americans can donate to the ceremony, to building the Wall, and to pay for Trump Tower services as well as Mar-a-lago shrubbery and lawn work. Included in the speech will be information on making your organization, home or whatnot tax free and your generous gift tax free too.

Lottery tickets, t-shirts, baseball caps, and vodka will be sold by 501c vendors covered by Citizens United, no tax will be imposed on profits. Big sellers include T-shirts with Donald and Vladimir, current president Obama and Hillary behind bars, emaciated Mexican children trying to climb the Wall, Vodka duty free ads, Muslims being loaded on ships, and wealthy Americans surrounded by cash singing hallelujah ain't we great, ain't Donald great.

After the Donald has delivered his speech, 'From Russia with Love' will be sung as vendors tabulate their earning. Come one, come all, you voted for the greatest now give all you can, thanks for large gift donors will be broadcast live with photos. Collection buckets will be passed around at this point to pay for the minister's palatial palace and that 'Wall' to be built down south.

Speech outline text subject to change. 1st Draft

'Fourscore and a few years ago our forefathers brought forth a nation where some said give me liberty or some said give me freedom and they asked not what the nation could do for them but what the free market would do for some. Kidding kidding. Mine came from Germany anyway. Fellow Americans I want you all to know we will be great again and what a wall you're gonna build in the spirit of can do America, your taxes will add gold to the white house just like my Trump tower, and you'll once more be able to buy your own healthcare free of government regulations or any regulations at all should you be able to afford it in the first place, if you're young who needs it anyway, right. You have nothing to fear unless you're Mexican or Muslim or Hillary or a democrat or trans or a women. Actually I like women so long as they walk behind me, I'm on number three now, three I married that is. Foreign women are the best, American women are way too pushy. I was kidding this whole election, but look where it got me. Amazing huh. All those speeches, all those words, I was great wasn't I, I have a good brain. I gotta give myself extra credit, how about those TV ratings during the debates, I should be paid, I got the corrupt and lying media so much advertising. I may have my lawyers look into that. Little Marco, lying Ted, no energy Bush, beat them all. And how about my cabinet, talk about inclusive, rich people, racists, antisemitics, conspiracy folk, even a token black. He thinks he is gonna fix the inner city, my family sure has made lots from government housing. Now I can sign off on my own housing projects.

And folks my policies will be great too, no more worries about global whatever, I have selected people for my cabinet that have nothing to do with science so we should be good for mining, drilling, polluting, and smog for years to come. Pipelines everywhere. So what if a little of Florida is under water, my voters live inland at gated resorts and places like the Villages. My faithful fans and followers will be fine. Education no worries there either, we'll have plenty of workers as public education remains underfunded and our Charter schools keep the cream at the top. Throw in a few Christian like schools and my base will only grow. We've had enough civil rights laws and financial regulation, let the speculation begin, too big to fail will be changed to we're so big we can't fail.

Well folks don't forget your baseball caps and t-shirts on your way out. If we are gonna be great you gotta wear my stuff and my buddy Vlad profits too. And don't believe the rumors, my sons ain't gonna hunt in Washington, they're looking more towards ducks and other vermin on the Chesapeake. It is gonna be a great four years, maybe eight if I can con enough people twice. Kidding kidding. Enjoy your day folks and buy buy buy make America great and me even greater if that is possible. I love me and hope you'll me too.


(subject to change without notice or even rhyme or reason)

suds00
01-16-2017, 03:40 PM
"and when i fail it'll be your fault"

Captain Obvious
01-16-2017, 03:57 PM
I guess these things are more important to some.

valley ranch
01-16-2017, 04:33 PM
It, the Inaug, as flashy as some of the others, and as important as them all. While some of the lowly with resent, will be saying hateful things, maybe burning our Flag, and threatening vile actions, Americans will be thankful, some giving thank above.
The losers, the ones that are in local hate groups and terrorist groups, not yet called that, pee in the street and drink and smoke and will seek to hurt or kill Americans who they will designate as Trump Lovers.

I for one have work to do and can't be there, but, disliking them as much as they us, would love to put on in their strained and filthy faces.

Common
01-16-2017, 04:37 PM
It certainly is the POS Obama is gone and we have a real president for the next 4 yrs. For once you were right midcan, I doubt it will become a habit though :)

Cigar
01-16-2017, 04:42 PM
:roflmao: IT's going to be HUGE :laugh:

Keep this Picture in mind

http://images.scribblelive.com/2013/1/17/49bafca0-0a3e-4b93-b355-f62630b7e12a_500.jpg (http://live.boston.com/Event/Live_blog_The_Inauguration_2013)
http://images.politico.com/global/2013/01/21/crowd_605.jpg (http://www.politico.com/gallery/2013/01/inauguration-weekend-2013/000734-010511.html)



Just remember who's the current Record Holder for Inaugurations or any Event in Washington DC :grin:

Cigar
01-16-2017, 07:24 PM
:grin: Check / Mate

AZ Jim
01-16-2017, 08:22 PM
It, the Inaug, as flashy as some of the others, and as important as them all. While some of the lowly with resent, will be saying hateful things, maybe burning our Flag, and threatening vile actions, Americans will be thankful, some giving thank above.
The losers, the ones that are in local hate groups and terrorist groups, not yet called that, pee in the street and drink and smoke and will seek to hurt or kill Americans who they will designate as Trump Lovers.

I for one have work to do and can't be there, but, disliking them as much as they us, would love to put on in their strained and filthy faces.You are one of the losers, you just don't know it yet.

Captain Obvious
01-16-2017, 08:49 PM
You are one of the losers, you just don't know it yet.

What was Loretta Lynch saying about the "wave of intolerance" again?
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b3/b6/02/b3b6028fb223c135b9a5197eb092072b.jpg

midcan5
01-17-2017, 08:15 AM
Addendum notes:

DJT writes, I'm hoping to be one of the eight who have more wealth than all the working stiffs in this wide world. It ain't rich people's fault they are poor, they should work to be rich too. Of course I still need lots of them, how am I going to make clothing profits if they got paid fairly? Life is tough folks you'll all be rewarded in the next world. Note to minister Makemoney Jr, add that to your sermon, someday the poor will inherit the earth. Ain't that a great line, wish I had thought of it.

Some think I'm just another Neville Chamberlain with my Russian bromance, and Paul and Mitch are little Nevilles, ah come on folks. And stop saying Jimmy Carter was tougher than me, Jimmy didn't want to build Hotels throughout annexed Russian lands. Why would DJT waste time serving in the Navy and building homes for needy people, you gotta be kidding.

And folks pay no attention to media, just follow DJT and just like my university grads you too will be rich.

'In the intelligence business, we would say that Mr. Putin had recruited Mr. Trump as an unwitting agent of the Russian Federation.'

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/05/opinion/campaign-stops/i-ran-the-cia-now-im-endorsing-hillary-clinton.html

https://www.amazon.com/Plot-Hack-America-Cyberspies-WikiLeaks/dp/1510723323/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8

DGUtley
01-17-2017, 08:20 AM
:grin: Check / Mate
Couldn't you wait until someone fawned all over you before you crooned: checkmate? It's unbecoming....


You are one of the losers, you just don't know it yet.

I spent 8 years criticizing a large percentage of The Obama's policies. To my recollection, I never personally attacked him. If I did, it was over his power grabs / king ascension. Likewise, I never personally attacked his supporters, other than to call them Sheeple for following what the American Press sold them. I know many others did. It all goes to credibility and whether you want to be taken seriously.

birddog
01-17-2017, 11:46 AM
I don't care if I am taken seriously by some, I just tell the truth as I see it.

Obama continues to be a lying, weak, corrupt, illegal, muslimic POS! Those who voted for him owe the rest of us an apology.

Cigar
01-17-2017, 01:41 PM
https://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_1484w/2010-2019/WashingtonPost/2017/01/17/National-Politics/Graphics/w-poll0118favorable.jpg

Cigar
01-17-2017, 01:42 PM
I don't care if I am taken seriously by some, I just tell the truth as I see it.

Obama continues to be a lying, weak, corrupt, illegal, muslimic POS! Those who voted for him owe the rest of us an apology.

Are you sure you got them all in? :laugh:

What about Kenyan, Chicago and Community Organizer?

valley ranch
01-17-2017, 09:14 PM
Village idiot from Kenya , Chicago and Community Organizer!

Naw, just could't let it go. But, thanks for reminding us.

Na, Let him go, Obama, it is good to see him go. He'll most likely hang around and talk his face off not go off into expresident land, like he should and leave things get better.


What about selling government favors? No, that wasn't him, it was what's it's face.

valley ranch
01-17-2017, 09:20 PM
Washington Post and ABC Poll? Their polls have been crappy, wrong don't you remember?

They should start predicting the weather, they'd do as well or better.

Tahuyaman
01-18-2017, 01:13 AM
"and when i fail it'll be your fault"

At least we can stop blaming Bush.

Tahuyaman
01-18-2017, 01:15 AM
I don't care if I am taken seriously by some, I just tell the truth as I see it.

Obama continues to be a lying, weak, corrupt, illegal, muslimic POS! Those who voted for him owe the rest of us an apology.


Are you sure you got them all in? :laugh:

What about Kenyan, Chicago and Community Organizer?

He missed divisive, incompetent and indecisive.