Growing Misery Among Girls, Young Women

[Cthulhu]

And see, this seems to contradict your claim from post #14 suggesting that women are happier than men.

You assess that feminists are to blame for the unhappiness of women. I really doubt that. If you ask the average Western woman whether she'd be happier going back to the sex-based arrangements that prevailed 50-60 years ago, I can all but guarantee you that she'd answer in the negative. If you want further evidence of that, compare us to say Japan, which is a modern, industrial country that never underwent a second wave type social transformation that saw women move in the workforce properly. The vast majority of Japanese women are still career housewives today. Are they happier? Are they better off? Hardly. Even the men are worse off in many ways, having to work longer hours than male workers have to here due to the more substantial presence of women in our workforce.

No, what is to blame for the growing unhappiness of girls and women is not the women's movement or the realization of a few of its goals here and there (or else increasingly embracing feminist ideas wouldn't be their natural response to increased misery, one would think), but growing volumes of neoliberal economics and misogyny in our culture in the last few decades in particular. The increased commonality of pornography, the pornification of young girl's lives, social media bullying, a steadily escalating beauty culture that increasingly requires extreme measures like surgery, school and work-related insecurity, these are the causes. That's what girls and women themselves say are the causes. Why not believe them?

Why do girls buy magazines that project a near unattainable standard of beauty then?

Ultimately they are the consumer of the goods and services, why not boycott until they get what they need?

Women are the solution to this problem, and they just need to fix it.

Sent from my evil cell phone.

[IMPress Polly]

Perhaps a forum is just not the place to talk about it.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not.

[Chris]

Yeah, I'm thinking it's not.

Well, it's difficult to talk about without getting hurt. PMs might be better but you really don't know anyone here personally well enough....

[Adelaide]

This is why so many people feel that psychology is a quack science. I have tried everything, okay? Diet, exercise, "forgiveness", sprinkling proverbial pixie dust on myself and thinking happy thoughts, all of it. If you don't think I have -- if you think I just LIKE living like this -- you're nuts. You know very little about my life or relationships. My mom and I are good friends (if I can say that without being judged a dork), for example.

I wish people would just stop prescribing solutions based on absolutely minimal knowledge of my life and just listen for once. That's all I really want. It helps just to know that somebody cares enough to listen.

Most people feel compelled to provide advice because they feel empathy or sympathy or compassion, and sometimes those people also have more experience with mental health problems (years, severity, profession, etc.). It might be annoying if you feel like you have already tried everything, but few people provide advice for malicious reasons. Maybe try being patient about it. I understand where you are coming from because people offer me advice from time to time, but it's in good faith. There is no point alienating people who are trying to help in some way.

[Dr. Who]

This is why so many people feel that psychology is a quack science. I have tried everything, okay? Diet, exercise, "forgiveness", sprinkling proverbial pixie dust on myself and thinking happy thoughts, all of it. If you don't think I have -- if you think I just LIKE living like this -- you're nuts. You know very little about my life or relationships. My mom and I are good friends (if I can say that without being judged a dork), for example.

I wish people would just stop prescribing solutions based on absolutely minimal knowledge of my life and just listen for once. That's all I really want. It helps just to know that somebody cares enough to listen.

All I know of your life is what you have shared. It breaks my heart to hear it. Nor do I think that you haven't tried. Nothing could be further from the truth. I think that you try every single day. I do listen, but what you are sharing suggests that you are reaching the end of your rope. I could not, in good conscience, let that just lay there like a ticking time bomb. If having someone to listen was all that you need, your sessions with therapists should have helped by now. The question is whether you really listen to yourself? Try reading back what you have written about yourself over the years on this forum and imagine that this is a person that you don't know.

I have been a listener for my entire life and I'm 63. I'm the person that everyone shares their problems with and I don't hand out advice like I'm a cheap psychiatry service. Yours is not a unique story. How people handle these things in their lives is different for every individual. What is the absolute truth is that until you can let go of the past, you will carry it with you and it will continue to color every aspect of your life, your perceptions, your reactions, your self-image and your peace of mind.

I'm truly sorry if my responses make you angry. I will never again offer you advice. I sincerely wish you peace and happiness.

[Just AnotherPerson]

Vulnerability?

If she had wanted to commit suicide, she could have. The fact that she didn't means she was just posturing for attention or feeling sorry for herself. The world is a hard place. If you can't hack it, maybe you should check yourself out. It is your call, but don't play the "woe is me" routine. Suck it up and drive on or fall by the wayside.

How dare you say that to a person who is suffering. That is the absolute worst thing I have ever heard someone say to another person. How dare you!!!! You are so beyond wrong that there are not even enough words for it! You have no idea what it is like to suffer in that kind of way, how dare you talk to another human being with such indigence. If you don't have compassion for another persons suffering that is on you. But how dare you try to hurt another person who is suffering. If you have something terrible to say, keep it to yourself. Words like that could cost a person their life. Shame on you, seriously shame on you!

You don't have the right to talk to another human being like that.

[roadmaster]

Ok, but that doesnt change more males commit suicide, have to wonder if they really wanted to commit suicide or just go through the motions.

Yes the last one around here was a guy from Fort Bragg that use to drive up here to see my youngest daughter. He was a really nice guy and she liked him but they were mainly friends. He got hurt in combat and was on pain pills and had surgeries. I remember her saying after he called about not being able to see a Dr. and needed some meds. The next week he had killed himself. That devastated my daughter. I think she liked him more than she said.

[Cletus]

How dare you say that to a person who is suffering.

The ones who are suffering are the ones who end up reading her posts on a daily basis.


That is the absolute worst thing I have ever heard someone say to another person.[/quote]


If that is the worst you have ever heard, you need to get out more.

How dare you!!!!

You said that already.

You are so beyond wrong that there are not even enough words for it!

Is that why you keep repeating yourself?

You have no idea what it is like to suffer in that kind of way, how dare you talk to another human being with such indigence.

I am not sure what you are trying to say, but I am pretty sure "indigence" is not the word you want.

If you don't have compassion for another persons suffering that is on you.

You have never seen suffering. for people like you, suffering is having your pedicurist cancel an appointment. Yes, I have little tolerance for drama queens and new age nutcases. I have seen suffering. I have seen kids sitting in the dirt starving to death, but unlike people like some here, they don't give up and decide they want to off themselves because they broke a fingernail. They keep fighting. They keep hoping. They keep trying. What they don't do is sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Even the worst off in this country has it 100 times better than a big part of the world's population. You would run home crying to Mama if you ever had to see real suffering. Go talk to your crystals or whatever it is you do, but don't even try to lecture me on something you don't know a damned thing about.

But how dare you try to hurt another person who is suffering.

I didn't try to hurt anybody. I just called a spade a spade. Everything I said was true. I don't really care a rat's ass whether you like it or not. She has been posting the same kind of hysterical nonsense for years. Unless there is some kind of physiological problem, people who contemplate and or attempt suicide are either doing it for attention (and have no real intention of killing themselves) or are just weak.

If you have something terrible to say, keep it to yourself. Words like that could cost a person their life. Shame on you, seriously shame on you!

Yeah, I should probably go shave my head and join a monastery. I'll get right on that.

You don't have the right to talk to another human being like that.

People like you don't help anyone. You are enablers. You have probably driven more people to suicide than Jim Jones.

[Peter1469]

Yes the last one around here was a guy from Fort Bragg that use to drive up here to see my youngest daughter. He was a really nice guy and she liked him but they were mainly friends. He got hurt in combat and was on pain pills and had surgeries. I remember her saying after he called about not being able to see a Dr. and needed some meds. The next week he had killed himself. That devastated my daughter. I think she liked him more than she said.

That is a shame. To may vets are doing that.

[Cletus]

That is a shame. To may vets are doing that.

We are raising a society of weaklings.