How to thwart telemarketers

[pjohns]

My wife suggested a new way of dealing with telemarketers. (Actually, she did not come up with it, originally. She just passed it on to me.)

Whenever my phone shows that the call is from another town or city--and I have no friends or relatives there--I simply answer the phone as follows:

"Gooooooood morning! This is Phillip Johnston, and yoooooooou're on the air!"

It has worked very well the two times that I have tried it so far. I was met with stunned silence both times.

(Obviously, this will not work with robocalls.)

[Mr.Soxes]

[ODB]

Those are awesome.

Soxes.... LMAO!

[Mr.Soxes]

Those are awesome.

Soxes.... LMAO!

I flustered the one that had warrants for my arrest by asking him what my name was!

[DLLS]

I got a bomb threat. Some middle-eastern sounding scum bucket called up one morning. I asked him if there was any truth to the rumor that the prophet mohammed rapes goats.

Later that afternoon I received another call from what sounded like the same person. I asked if he was able to do any research into the question I asked him early whether or not the prophet mohammed rapes goats.

He told me he was going to bomb my house, and that he was going to send me a bomb in the mail.

Next time he calls I'm going to ask him for the tracking number because I have not received my bomb yet.

[DLLS]

I flustered the one that had warrants for my arrest by asking him what my name was!

You mean you don't know?

I like the ones offering an extended warranty on my vehicle who then claim that because of privacy laws they cannot tell me what make and model my vehicle is.

[ODB]

I suppose I need to start answering my phone if I ever want to get in on this entertainment.

[DLLS]

I suppose I need to start answering my phone if I ever want to get in on this entertainment.

The really great ones are those that state this is the last time they will call. I usually push the number to talk to the live scam artist and tell him that I thought last time was the last time they were going to call. That I cannot possibly do business with people that are that dishonest.

Once I pressed to talk to a live person, he asked if I was interested in lowering my interest rates. I told him I was calling because we detected that his computer was infected by a virus.

[Mr.Soxes]

You mean you don't know?

I like the ones offering an extended warranty on my vehicle who then claim that because of privacy laws they cannot tell me what make and model my vehicle is.

They fill my mailbox up with that junk!

[Mr.Soxes]

I suppose I need to start answering my phone if I ever want to get in on this entertainment.

I aint had a phone for years!