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Thread: HUMOR for the humorless!

  1. #31
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    William's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by RadioGod View Post
    Why was Benedict Arnold popular with the ladies?

    He was hung.
    Lol, sorry to wreck the joke, but when I used to say someone was hung (executed by hanging), I was always corrected that it should be 'hanged'.

    So I Googled it -

    Hung is the past tense and past participle of hang in most of that verb’s senses. For instance, yesterday you might have hung a picture on the wall, hung a right turn, and hung your head in sorrow.
    The exception comes where hang means to put to death by hanging. The past tense and past participle of hang in this sense, and only in this sense, is hanged.
    http://grammarist.com/usage/hanged-hung/

    Pictures can be hung, but people are always hanged. It’s an odd quirk of the English language. Here is a usage note on the word “hang” from the American Heritage Dictionary:
    Hanged, as a past tense and a past participle of hang, is used in the sense of “to put to death by hanging,” as in Frontier courts hanged many a prisoner after a summary trial. A majority of the Usage Panel objects to hung used in this sense. In all other senses of the word, hung is the preferred form as past tense and past participle, as in I hung my child’s picture above my desk.
    https://www.englishrules.com/writing...anged-or-hung/
    Oh, I wish I were a glow worm,
    for a glow worm's never glum,
    'cause how can you be grumpy
    when the sun shines out your bum!

  2. #32
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    How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?

    You can't take a rib from a black man.
    Whoever criticizes capitalism, while approving immigration, whose working class is its first victim, had better shut up. Whoever criticizes immigration, while remaining silent about capitalism, should do the same.


    ~Alain de Benoist


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    Whats better than roses on your piano?

    Two lips on your organ.

    The first Eyetalion swam over to America. The rest of them walked over on the oil slick.

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    Poor Italians Strange they have lots of olive oil, but no soap.
    I live with a profound happiness that can only be achieved by being hated by Mr.Veritis

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    A young man decided to try and find a job on a boat to get some experience at sea.
    He was hired onboard as a deckhand on an old ship, and got to meet the captain.
    The captain looked every bit the pirate, he had a patch on one eye, a hook, and a wooden leg.
    The young man was astonished at the captain's appearance, but he worked up the courage to ask him about his appearance.
    "Uh, Captain", the young man said, "If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up with a wooden leg?".
    "Arrrrgh!", said the captain, "I supposin' ye don't mean no harm by askin'! I'll tell ye, I was swabbin' the decks one day, and the ship, she pitched hard, and me leg was caught in thee ropes, and it ripped me leg clean off! Now me got a peg!"
    "Oh, sh*t", said the young man, as he recoiled at the horror of the tale.
    Then the young man, still wondering, asked the captain, "What about the hook?".
    "Arrrghhh!", said the captain, "I supposin' ye don't mean no harm by askin'! I will tell ye, one fine day, while we were fishin' fer sharks, I landed me a big un', and while me were reeling it in, it jumped from the sea and bit me hand clean off!".
    "Oh, sh*t", said the young man, even more frightened than before.
    After a few awkward moments, the young man gathered his courage back up, and asked the captain, "Well, captain, what about the eye patch?".
    "Arrrghhhghhh!", said the captain, "Now there be a tale! I was above decks, keeping watch from the crows nest, and a flock of seagulls flew overhead! And wouldn't ye know it, but one of the damn things pooped right in me eye!".
    Kind of relieved, but bewildered, the young man said, "But how did seagull sh*t cause you to loose your eye?".
    The captain replied, "Me forgot me had the hook!".
    Last edited by RadioGod; 09-22-2018 at 11:57 PM.
    I live with a profound happiness that can only be achieved by being hated by Mr.Veritis

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    Just AnotherPerson (09-23-2018),William (09-24-2018)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Strangelove View Post
    Whats better than roses on your piano?

    Two lips on your organ.

    The first Eyetalion swam over to America. The rest of them walked over on the oil slick.
    Imagine living in this place and dealing with your mail...
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humptulips,_Washington
    I live with a profound happiness that can only be achieved by being hated by Mr.Veritis

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    Well, there is enough there to offend everybody! Moah on the morrow!

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