Originally Posted by
IMPress Polly
Discussing lesbianism over this last week has put me in the mood to clarify some stuff. "Lesbian" is a very popular porn search category, particularly among women who watch porn (which is still a minority thereof, incidentally). How much of it is realistic? What's realistic and what's not? Here are your answers from an actual lesbian (well essentially lesbian anyway) who has been with a number of other girls and women (as applicable) before.
"Lesbian" porn is sometimes fairly realistic and sometimes not. These women are paid, after all, and porn is usually made to be as dramatic as possible. Most of the women in "lesbian" porn probably don't consider themselves to be lesbians in reality. At least that's the impression I get based on what they do and how they respond to stuff. Here are some of the telltale signs of falsity I see pretty often:
1) Penis-shaped devices. You will find that lesbians are lesbians typically in no small part because they are NOT very attracted to penises, if at all. I have never had sex with another female before that involved such implements as dildos and strap-ons.
2) Group sex. Part of the appeal of other women for me is that the level of connection I experience tends to be more intimate than that which I experience with men. Group sex is not an intimate experience. It is far more commonplace in porn than it is in life.
3) Violence. From "lesbian" porn and Game of Thrones and whatnot, you may judge lesbian sex to be a spiritual exaggeration of mud wrestling; where women try to harm each other in the nude for the pleasure of male viewers. In real life, usually other women don't prefer sex to be super aggressive, in my experience. I don't pull hair or choke or slap anyone in the face and I certainly don't use whips or rope. Those are experiences I have had so far only with men, and they usually prefer to be on the delivering end.
4) Lots of moaning and yelling. Porn actors are paid to be superficially expressive. People in general, and especially other women, are less demanding in that regard. Sex that does not involve money is comparatively quiet in my experience.
5) You can see it clearly on camera. This one's definitely less reliable than the others, but many women -- especially more butch women -- possess only a limited amount of body confidence. There's a lot of sexual objectification of our bodies that makes many women feel unfeminine and/or inadequate. To that end, I have found that, while it is a less reliable rule than the other four above, more women than not prefer to have sex in the dark while men prefer the lights on because visual appeal is more important to their arousal. So basically, "lesbian" porn in general isn't that representative by definition, in other words.
Extensive lip-locking is realistic. I've done nothing but that for more than ten minutes before. Kissing up and down the body (front and back) is realistic. Especially the neck, in my experience. A heavy emphasis on vaginal oral sex is realistic. Clitoral stimulation is obviously an important focus. Yes, women do sometimes imitate positions that would more often involve guys (like the missionary position), but less often than they would do those positions with a guy, and typically involving less aggressive movement than with a guy. I have had group sex involving only women before, so I mean it does happen, but not too often.
So now you knows. Or at least based on what my experience has been anyway.