Ban moans and groans from professional tennis.

[Lummy]

Stop.

Especially in the women's game, grunts and groans are nothing but obnoxious distraction, being their only intent. These annoying sounds command the central focus of attention for spectators. Get rid of them. Ban all player gut sounds from the game, and heavily fine violators. It's unsportsmanlike, unlady-like, unsexy and stupid.

Carry on.

[Captain Obvious]

Stupid

[Green Arrow]

Because the primary function of a tennis game is to be sexy.

[Captain Obvious]

[jigglepete]

Didn't they try to put a limit on the volume some years back?

[The Xl]

Who the $#@! watches Tennis for said listed reasons?

[Lummy]

Nobody, idiot. Those are the reasons for banning it. Real cute. Now I'm all confused and $#@!.

I got so tired of hearing it this morning, I turned off the Australian Open. Even if you aren't watching and are in another room, the gut farts carry throughout the house. "Augggggghhhh!" "Oooooghhh!" "Augggggghhhh!" "Oooooghhh!" "Augggggghhhh!" "Oooooghhh!"

"Click!"

I win. Game. Set. Match.

[Captain Obvious]

Didn't they try to put a limit on the volume some years back?

Yeah, I remember that. They were trying to promote less of it.

Way I figure, hearing a woman grunt means you're doing it right

[Lummy]

Didn't they try to put a limit on the volume some years back?

Well, they didn't try very hard. The rule would be about two sentences long. What, there's some civil right that would be violated or something?

[Lummy]

Yeah, I remember that. They were trying to promote less of it.

You mean, they were trying to discourage more of it, I think.

Way I figure, hearing a woman grunt means you're doing it right

Not that kind of grunt, tarzan.