No wedding thank you = no baby gift?

[Standing Wolf]

...Perhaps you could give her a box of thank you cards as your gift.

Ooh, I like that!

[Collateral Damage]

One of the young ladies in my office, a young lawyer, invited us all to her wedding in October. It was two hours away, on a Buckeye game night, on my birthday. When Mrs. U RSVP'd for the reception only, this young lady came into my office all upset about why we would only come to the reception and not the ceremony - 5 hours earlier and an hour in the other direction. I told her it must've been a mistake. Everyone in the office went. We bought a gift off of her registry and gave her a check.

It has been 8 months and not one of us has gotten a thank you note for the gifts we sent. This woman is now reportedly pregnant. Two of the secretaries in the office say: No wedding gift thank you note, no baby gift. Mrs. U agrees. My thoughts are that this woman works for me, I'm a partner and it would be poor form low class not to give her a gift for this blessed event.

Thoughts?

While I suggest this be noted on someone's calendar, I tend to agree with Bo. Her bad manners should not be your bad manners, sir.

It doesn't have to be much, but an acknowledgement... something maybe $50 since you are the boss. To satisfy Mrs. U, with whom I don't actually disagree, but your position changes the perimeters, a vanilla buy-it-at-the-Walmart generic gift card.

The employee may completely miss the message of "I couldn't be bothered', but it also satisfies 'good manners'.

[Standing Wolf]

Oh my F .. SERIOUSLY? ^ This woman seriously complained IN WRITING to those she felt gave inadequate cash gifts?

That would piss me off ... BIGLY

Yeah, I forget where the wedding was held, but it was in some exotic setting in a luxury resort type atmosphere...and of course transportation and accommodations were paid for by the guests themselves. Apparently, the couple were counting on the cash gifts to pay for all of their expenses.

I don't want to sound sexist, but am I wrong to think that it is the female, the bride in these scenarios, who is, 99.9% of the time, the one to act like a complete jackass? Given the choice of paying for and going through all the hassle of a big wedding and just keeping the money you would have spent - maybe using it to buy a bigger flat screen or a boat - I have to think that the great majority of guys would just as soon be married by the local JP.

When the wife and I were about to be married, she and her mother tried to get me involved in the planning, and one day they asked what I thought about colors for the decorations at the reception. We had set the date for November 11th, so I said, "How about red, white and blue?" They just looked at me for a moment, and then never asked me for my input again...which was kind of what I was shooting for.

[DGUtley]

Yeah, I forget where the wedding was held, but it was in some exotic setting in a luxury resort type atmosphere...and of course transportation and accommodations were paid for by the guests themselves. Apparently, the couple were counting on the cash gifts to pay for all of their expenses. I don't want to sound sexist, but am I wrong to think that it is the female, the bride in these scenarios, who is, 99.9% of the time, the one to act like a complete jackass? Given the choice of paying for and going through all the hassle of a big wedding and just keeping the money you would have spent - maybe using it to buy a bigger flat screen or a boat - I have to think that the great majority of guys would just as soon be married by the local JP. When the wife and I were about to be married, she and her mother tried to get me involved in the planning, and one day they asked what I thought about colors for the decorations at the reception. We had set the date for November 11th, so I said, "How about red, white and blue?" They just looked at me for a moment, and then never asked me for my input again...which was kind of what I was shooting for.

I was pretty fresh out of law school. Pam and I walked up to the Catholic Church two doors away, got hitched, walked back home and had a barbecue in the backyard. It was all we could afford. P1's wedding -- Mrs. U put on a show and P1 could've cared less. P2? Oh my. She'll be a bridezilla, I suspect.

[Dr. Who]

Yeah, I forget where the wedding was held, but it was in some exotic setting in a luxury resort type atmosphere...and of course transportation and accommodations were paid for by the guests themselves. Apparently, the couple were counting on the cash gifts to pay for all of their expenses.

I don't want to sound sexist, but am I wrong to think that it is the female, the bride in these scenarios, who is, 99.9% of the time, the one to act like a complete jackass? Given the choice of paying for and going through all the hassle of a big wedding and just keeping the money you would have spent - maybe using it to buy a bigger flat screen or a boat - I have to think that the great majority of guys would just as soon be married by the local JP.

When the wife and I were about to be married, she and her mother tried to get me involved in the planning, and one day they asked what I thought about colors for the decorations at the reception. We had set the date for November 11th, so I said, "How about red, white and blue?" They just looked at me for a moment, and then never asked me for my input again...which was kind of what I was shooting for.

Like so many other things in life, weddings have become very commercial over time. There is a not so subtle brain washing campaign about "fairy tale" weddings and brides being a "princess" for the day. The venue has to be decorated professionally - suitable for an MGM extravaganza in the golden age of movies. The wedding dress has to at least look expensive and bedazzled with crystals so that the bride sparkles like a chandelier as she walks down the aisle. However, bridesmaids dresses are still chosen to look dowdy, if not humiliating, so as not to distract from the bride. The food should be spectacular - at least the same quality as a five star restaurant and with choices for every palate. The cost of an average wedding today would pay for a decent down payment on a house.