No wedding thank you = no baby gift?

[DGUtley]

One of the young ladies in my office, a young lawyer, invited us all to her wedding in October. It was two hours away, on a Buckeye game night, on my birthday. When Mrs. U RSVP'd for the reception only, this young lady came into my office all upset about why we would only come to the reception and not the ceremony - 5 hours earlier and an hour in the other direction. I told her it must've been a mistake. Everyone in the office went. We bought a gift off of her registry and gave her a check.

It has been 8 months and not one of us has gotten a thank you note for the gifts we sent. This woman is now reportedly pregnant. Two of the secretaries in the office say: No wedding gift thank you note, no baby gift. Mrs. U agrees. My thoughts are that this woman works for me, I'm a partner and it would be poor form low class not to give her a gift for this blessed event.

Thoughts?

[Standing Wolf]

Actually, the "no thank you" note thing is pretty tame, when you listen to some of the "Bridezilla" horror stories going around. I heard one just the other day about a couple who held their wedding at some far distant overseas location, then asked for cash in lieu of wedding presents, THEN complained in writing to all the guests whose cash gifts they felt were not big enough.

Some folks are just disorganized by nature, or even ignorant of the simplest social amenities because those were never taught to them when they were growing up. Maybe it's a professional bias on my part, but I tend to believe that an attorney should know better. I'm with the "no baby gift" folks. Bad behavior doesn't need to be rewarded.

[FindersKeepers]

While I think everyone should write thank-you notes, not everyone does.

I decided a long time ago that I wasn't giving a gift to get a thank you -- if I'm going to give a gift it will be just because I want to. No thanks needed.

[DGUtley]

When P1 got married:


Who is this.jpg


Mrs. U took a whip to her to get her TY's out within 3 weeks.

[Bo-4]

One of the young ladies in my office, a young lawyer, invited us all to her wedding in October. It was two hours away, on a Buckeye game night, on my birthday. When Mrs. U RSVP'd for the reception only, this young lady came into my office all upset about why we would only come to the reception and not the ceremony - 5 hours earlier and an hour in the other direction. I told her it must've been a mistake. Everyone in the office went. We bought a gift off of her registry and gave her a check.

It has been 8 months and not one of us has gotten a thank you note for the gifts we sent. This woman is now reportedly pregnant. Two of the secretaries in the office say: No wedding gift thank you note, no baby gift. Mrs. U agrees. My thoughts are that this woman works for me, I'm a partner and it would be poor form low class not to give her a gift for this blessed event.

Thoughts?

Dear Dave,

Being a world renowned advice columnist it shall be my pleasure to weigh in. Now, as a young lawyer in your office with as much stuff going on in her personal life as she has going on, it's somewhat understandable that she neglected to send out thank you notes for her wedding gifts. Understandable, but not an excuse. It just doesn't take that long. I mean, if one has time to send out wedding invitations and baby notices, then one has time to send out a brief thank you note.

Even my paper girl left me a personalized thank you note for the $10 tip I left her last Christmas after she took the time to leave a little Christmas card with my weekend paper!

Now, this young lady works for you and since you are a partner in your firm, my advice would be to bite your lower lip and send a modest acknowledgment for her "new blessing". Agree - "it would be poor form" to follow the secretaries advice. They are SECRETARIES .. YOU are the partner. Step up Dave, perhaps you'll get a thank you note for BOTH including an apology for her previous inattention?

I'll be sending you a bill ;-)

Best,

Bo Van Buren

[nathanbforrest45]

While I think everyone should write thank-you notes, not everyone does.

I decided a long time ago that I wasn't giving a gift to get a thank you -- if I'm going to give a gift it will be just because I want to. No thanks needed.

Maybe not, but it does make you wonder if the gift was received or did the recipient even care about the gift. There are a number of customs that are "unnecessary" but they are what oils the wheels of society. Being gracious and thanking one for a gift is one of those.

I don't think I would "remember" to send a baby shower gift. I know my wife would not send one. She has even stopped sending her children Christmas gifts because they didn't ever send thank you notes

Perhaps you could give her a box of thank you cards as your gift.

[Bo-4]

Actually, the "no thank you" note thing is pretty tame, when you listen to some of the "Bridezilla" horror stories going around. I heard one just the other day about a couple who held their wedding at some far distant overseas location, then asked for cash in lieu of wedding presents, THEN complained in writing to all the guests whose cash gifts they felt were not big enough.

Some folks are just disorganized by nature, or even ignorant of the simplest social amenities because those were never taught to them when they were growing up. Maybe it's a professional bias on my part, but I tend to believe that an attorney should know better. I'm with the "no baby gift" folks. Bad behavior doesn't need to be rewarded.

Oh my F .. SERIOUSLY? ^ This woman seriously complained IN WRITING to those she felt gave inadequate cash gifts?

That would piss me off ... BIGLY

[Bo-4]

When P1 got married:

Attachment 26194
Mrs. U took a whip to her to get her TY's out within 3 weeks.

You're a handsome man Dave and the P1 is gorgeous.

My one and only kid (daughter - 24) told me over brunch she and her new BF (whom I like very much) may be buying a home together.

I thought to myself - Rut Roh .. Better set aside 10 or 15 grand for the wedding!

[jimmyz]

IMO it is an imposition on the staff and partners to be invited to weddings, showers and the like. Especially if they are work colleagues and not close personal friends.

[FindersKeepers]

When P1 got married:


Attachment 26194


Mrs. U took a whip to her to get her TY's out within 3 weeks.

What a beautiful bride!!! And your wife is one smart lady!