The life-changing magic of making do

[Cotton1]

People are a product of their environments. I loved my mother but we didn't always get along. She had a lot of insecurities and that translated to criticism of others and a tendency to try to be controlling. I eventually determined that if we were going to have a relationship, I was going to have to ignore her shortcomings and just change the subject.

I have tried. I have sincerely tried. But...the little voice is getting louder now saying " there is a reason for 3 things. #1. He didnt like her . #2. Yet he wasted 60 years with her. #3. Why he looked me square in the eye and in a moment of clarity that peered out from his dementia he said " you know your mom is half crazy dont you"?
My dad wasnt into riddles but he was a very complex person who delivered things he said in a manner that forced you to think, listen and appreciate. He also understood the crown he placed upon my head was a bit heavy at times and when he goes DOA , ejected from the playing field" it was going to be a crown mired in not only weight but resentment , envy , confusion, hurt feelings and mixed emotions. I actually understand my female opponants feeling as such. I would be crushed too if dad worshipped them but treated me like an ..afterthought
. I will say this. In my defense I was , am and likely always will be more lovable than them. Partly born that way. The rest...I am a very thoughtful loving person . it's not my fault my father chose me but he did. I think his motives were mostly to use me in a varying role of passive aggression against them. Honestly ? My sisters are not good people. They simply are not. I cant change that. As for mom? I would rather not comment. Shes a master player of the victim card. I do not want to say weird stuff that would possibly give it credibility beyond delusional. If someone had told me 20 years ago our tree bark tight family would some day be ripped asunder I would have said " you are insane". I have more of a problem understanding how we ended up this way than I do with my sister's and mom. Im honest. Im only choosing to play because I am in it for the money now. Not so much for me but because I refuse to let them steal my cut without a fight. Its wrong.

[Collateral Damage]

Interesting. I have never seen this exact side of you. Its impressive and you present with a broader range of emotion directed outward than I previously gave you credit for. I apologize for the mistake of not understanding compass within your minds eye. It will change the manner in which I interact with you in a positive way. I have been skirting you a bit because I felt I not only minimized you but to a larger degree, myself. Peace. ..

So I'm back on your Christmas card list?

[Cotton1]

So I'm back on your Christmas card list?

Of course you are. Am I back on your " it's ok if you knock on my door halloween night say " trick or treat guess what I am dressed as? Guess..an adult! Boom. Next year im going all out . buying me a fancy new " my mama dont love me but my daddy be rock and roll ..rock and roll to my soul". Scary? Like...s-c-a-w-y? Rock on my even though you hold michelle Obama in high regard its ok cause im ok youre ok jesus h cotton, cotton. ..ok ..ok? Hey, if you wanna be mean to someone later lemme know. Tag team...top rope ...wrestling is real...for reals?
How about " for reelz" or " don cornelius is out today. Face down with a sad sad clown drunk as well drunk. " soullllll Cottonnnnn"..." Everybody is a Star..."...a sing along. Like the brainwashing summer camps my parents sent me to until I was deemed...noncompliant , disruptive, hid wheelchair from a cripple...wut? No..i did not steal his crybaby wheelchair. I shoved it down a hill and left it there. So what? Cotton...you are excused . who u daddy don't mean a potato skin to Chip.mr Mr Chip to you cotton.

[DGUtley]

It never fails to amaze me how stingy some people are and some of the stingiest have more money than they could ever really use, yet some of the poorest people share what they can't really afford to share. That phenomenon is why there is so much discord among the children of the wealthy when they die, all fighting for a bigger share of the inheritance. Smart wealthy people don't do more than pay for their kid's educations and make them work for every penny, so that they don't grow up to be self-centered, self-indulgent A-Holes.

I agree. I have an incredibly wealthy friend. He and his wife are massively stingy. Wouldn't give a nickel to charity if their life depended on it. I am not sure that less well off people are less stingy, I think that they look at things more collectively. Where I come from, it's viewed as ours - not yours or mine. Money, property etc. To the extended family and friends. Is that less stingy (where you have it, believe it's yours and willingly give it away) or just don't get wrapped up in ownership b/c you don't have all that much? I don't know, but your point is well-taken.

[Collateral Damage]

Of course you are. Am I back on your " it's ok if you knock on my door halloween night say " trick or treat guess what I am dressed as? Guess..an adult! Boom. Next year im going all out . buying me a fancy new " my mama dont love me but my daddy be rock and roll ..rock and roll to my soul". Scary? Like...s-c-a-w-y? Rock on my even though you hold michelle Obama in high regard its ok cause im ok youre ok jesus h cotton, cotton. ..ok ..ok? Hey, if you wanna be mean to someone later lemme know. Tag team...top rope ...wrestling is real...for reals?
How about " for reelz" or " don cornelius is out today. Face down with a sad sad clown drunk as well drunk. " soullllll Cottonnnnn"..." Everybody is a Star..."...a sing along. Like the brainwashing summer camps my parents sent me to until I was deemed...noncompliant , disruptive, hid wheelchair from a cripple...wut? No..i did not steal his crybaby wheelchair. I shoved it down a hill and left it there. So what? Cotton...you are excused . who u daddy don't mean a potato skin to Chip.mr Mr Chip to you cotton.

Of all the holidays, you pick Hallow'een? Not much on the trick or treat stuff.
Actually, I don't 'hold Michelle Obama' in high regard, I just don't believe in criticizing people for their physical characteristics. Throwing stones and all that.

[Cotton1]

When I get an attack of the guilts, imagining my mother's disapproval - "why are you wasting money on a new (phone or computer) when the old one is still perfectly good", I think to myself, well girl, you've been working for most of your life, you should be allowed a little indulgence every few years. I have no debt and no children. You can't take it with you when you die.

[Cotton1]

Of all the holidays, you pick Hallow'een? Not much on the trick or treat stuff.
Actually, I don't 'hold Michelle Obama' in high regard, I just don't believe in criticizing people for their physical characteristics. Throwing stones and all that.

Hmmm. You are indeed a very tough customer. As a middle aged male with no kids , family , cat ran off, given up on not only hopes and dreams. But hopes and dreams of having hopes and dreams...Two words. Cause of my problems. Shirley Temple. Wut..cotton wth are you crazy ? Yes. Now what , farmboy ?

[Cotton1]

Of all the holidays, you pick Hallow'een? Not much on the trick or treat stuff.
Actually, I don't 'hold Michelle Obama' in high regard, I just don't believe in criticizing people for their physical characteristics. Throwing stones and all that.

Me neither.im very merciful.after that...even more mercy.

[slackercruster]

The life-changing magic of making do. The antidote to endless, thoughtless consumption lies not in purging ourselves of the stuff we own, but rather, redefining our relationship with stuff altogether.
I have shoes and shirts older than my 29 year old daughter. As a life-long fix-it-rather-than-throw-it-away person the propensity to throw something away and replace it with a new one drives me crazy. This is an interesting article.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opin...=pocket-newtab
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Good post! Sure less you want, freer you are.

[donttread]

The life-changing magic of making do. The antidote to endless, thoughtless consumption lies not in purging ourselves of the stuff we own, but rather, redefining our relationship with stuff altogether.

I have shoes and shirts older than my 29 year old daughter. As a life-long fix-it-rather-than-throw-it-away person the propensity to throw something away and replace it with a new one drives me crazy. This is an interesting article.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opin...=pocket-newtab

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You know I believe I was happier when I was young and had just enough. But next month;'s expenses depended on working this month. Now I was young, the world was ours for the taking, there was much we hand't done yet and I'd never even heard of "the little blue pill" So there are many factors, but there is an undeniable freedom with having nothing material to lose, yet knowing you someday will. Now my retirement is essentially is someone else's hands and I do worry sometimes.