The life-changing magic of making do

[Common]

I prefer everything broken in, I dislike much of new stuff, there is nothing wrong to mending comfortable clothes and continuing to wear them. Ive done it all my life.

I keep things until they are unusable or until my wife tells me she wants something.

[Cotton1]

Interesting article. I'm in a clear out stage, even those goods that I couldn't bear to part with when first my Mother, then Father, then my sister, passed. Memories imbedded in so many things. Now, the memories have faded a bit, and while I can appreciate the things for what they are, it's time to shed some layers of the past to the newer generations.

That all said, the most important thing I've learned is that there is a monstrous difference between want, and need. A lot of people still haven't encountered that fact.

Good points. I am a very sentimental person. It's hard for me to let go of what matters to me. Its finally gotten to the point where I am one person away from being absolutely on my own im this world. No kids, no parents , no extended family to speak of. Its quite terrifying and I believe my "sentimental" thing is deeply rooted in me being terrified of the future. So...my thinking is if I can control the chains that bind me to the past it imeans I am in better control of my fears regarding the future. I'm trying to establish a more of behavior that is proactive regarding potential problems. IOW, best time to avoid a problem is before the arrival of a problem. By nature I am a problem solver but experience has taught me there are times in life we are better equipped to " problem solve" than others. I do not want to be caught off guard. Getting older means wisdom. Wisdom means having the sense to understand possible future scenarios and have them broken down into smaller manageble pieces if and when they occur. I always thought getting older would suck. I was 100% correct.

[Dr. Who]

Having been raised by depression era parents, making do has been a way of life. I still have a microwave purchased in the late 1970's that refuses to stop working. I am encouraged that the mechanism to open the door is becoming unreliable and I have to press it several times to open it. One day it will stop working and I can finally bring myself to replace the thing since it doesn't even have a turntable to rotate the food. Similarly I have an early 1990's refrigerator that should be in a landfill site but also won't die, although the shelves are all in bad shape and the seal is no longer really functional. As much as I find these old appliances now ugly, I am very aware of the ephemeral quality of their potential replacements.

I keep shoes until they are no longer reasonably repairable both because I am frugal and because I loathe shopping for shoes. Once I find a pair of shoes that is truly comfortable I keep them until they can no longer be made to look respectable. I spend more money on winter clothing than summer clothing. Winter clothing for me spans a greater part of the year and must be of better quality, hence I will wear those items until either they no longer fit or I start looking like I time traveled from a different decade. Summer clothing is another story - I buy them on sale for as little as possible and when the shorts (I like jersey shorts) and tank tops start looking like they've seen better days they are demoted to sleep wear. By the time I'm done with them they are only fit to be used as rags or to be recycled into rugs. My current furniture is about 15 years new. It was purchased to last forever. It is all very good quality - hardwood, no particle board and in more timeless designs. Re upholstery may be required at some point, but unless I buy a house that needs more furniture, it's unlikely that I will be buying any again other than mattresses and box springs.

My biggest spendthrift failing is cell phones and computers. I could keep them longer but I love new tech. It's a horrible dilemma that causes me to feel a certain degree of guilt.

[Cotton1]

Interesting article. I'm in a clear out stage, even those goods that I couldn't bear to part with when first my Mother, then Father, then my sister, passed. Memories imbedded in so many things. Now, the memories have faded a bit, and while I can appreciate the things for what they are, it's time to shed some layers of the past to the newer generations.

That all said, the most important thing I've learned is that there is a monstrous difference between want, and need. A lot of people still haven't encountered that fact.

Interesting. I have never seen this exact side of you. Its impressive and you present with a broader range of emotion directed outward than I previously gave you credit for. I apologize for the mistake of not understanding compass within your minds eye. It will change the manner in which I interact with you in a positive way. I have been skirting you a bit because I felt I not only minimized you but to a larger degree, myself. Peace. ..

[Cotton1]

Having been raised by depression era parents, making do has been a way of life. I still have a microwave purchased in the late 1970's that refuses to stop working. I am encouraged that the mechanism to open the door is becoming unreliable and I have to press it several times to open it. One day it will stop working and I can finally bring myself to replace the thing since it doesn't even have a turntable to rotate the food. Similarly I have an early 1990's refrigerator that should be in a landfill site but also won't die, although the shelves are all in bad shape and the seal is no longer really functional. As much as I find these old appliances now ugly, I am very aware of the ephemeral quality of their potential replacements.

I keep shoes until they are no longer reasonably repairable both because I am frugal and because I loathe shopping for shoes. Once I find a pair of shoes that is truly comfortable I keep them until they can no longer be made to look respectable. I spend more money on winter clothing than summer clothing. Winter clothing for me spans a greater part of the year and must be of better quality, hence I will wear those items until either they no longer fit or I start looking like I time traveled from a different decade. Summer clothing is another story - I buy them on sale for as little as possible and when the shorts (I like jersey shorts) and tank tops start looking like they've seen better days they are demoted to sleep wear. By the time I'm done with them they are only fit to be used as rags or to be recycled into rugs. My current furniture is about 15 years new. It was purchased to last forever. It is all very good quality - hardwood, no particle board and in more timeless designs. Re upholstery may be required at some point, but unless I buy a house that needs more furniture, it's unlikely that I will be buying any again other than mattresses and box springs.

My biggest spendthrift failing is cell phones and computers. I could keep them longer but I love new tech. It's a horrible dilemma that causes me to feel a certain degree of guilt.

"Guilt" is a very common reflex emotion that often surfaces regarding finances. Its a survival skill and being raised by depression era parents a trait was environmental. I was speaking to someone a few hours ago that spent $5 million on a jet that costs 3-4k an hour to fly. Now he is second guessing himself. I didnt say this to him but I believe his capital outlay was a subconcious manner of self inflicted anxiety. The " anxiety" serves as a release mechanism emotionally but in people of his makeup its more of a motivational tool. He needs to feel a need. A need is a survival skill. I did tell him " i told you the day you bought your rationalizations were as off center as the money you are spending on the airplane. But...thats why you worked hard , took huge risks that made you who you are. I finally said " I know the air is thin up where blowing a few hundred k on a car you dont need fails to excite you but..embrace the jet and understand why the hell do the work if you do not understand the rewards? ". My father was not as practical as him. I remember dad having 11 cars at one time. My dad had nowhere near the capital this guy does. He just had an attitude of "if buying 11 cars was rational I probably wouldn't do it". I miss his sense of humor. I remember once I was going on a two week vacation alone. Dad said " be sure to get the Presidential Suite in case you dont waste enough money " finding yourself, son". I miss his love and heck no I did not get the presidential suite. I proudly informed him i had settled for a governers suite instesd lol..the scary part? I was serious. I know better now. Thank God I had a successful bookie operation from grade 5 thru college to teach me the ways of the Lawd !. Dang...lol

[Cotton1]

Having been raised by depression era parents, making do has been a way of life. I still have a microwave purchased in the late 1970's that refuses to stop working. I am encouraged that the mechanism to open the door is becoming unreliable and I have to press it several times to open it. One day it will stop working and I can finally bring myself to replace the thing since it doesn't even have a turntable to rotate the food. Similarly I have an early 1990's refrigerator that should be in a landfill site but also won't die, although the shelves are all in bad shape and the seal is no longer really functional. As much as I find these old appliances now ugly, I am very aware of the ephemeral quality of their potential replacements.

I keep shoes until they are no longer reasonably repairable both because I am frugal and because I loathe shopping for shoes. Once I find a pair of shoes that is truly comfortable I keep them until they can no longer be made to look respectable. I spend more money on winter clothing than summer clothing. Winter clothing for me spans a greater part of the year and must be of better quality, hence I will wear those items until either they no longer fit or I start looking like I time traveled from a different decade. Summer clothing is another story - I buy them on sale for as little as possible and when the shorts (I like jersey shorts) and tank tops start looking like they've seen better days they are demoted to sleep wear. By the time I'm done with them they are only fit to be used as rags or to be recycled into rugs. My current furniture is about 15 years new. It was purchased to last forever. It is all very good quality - hardwood, no particle board and in more timeless designs. Re upholstery may be required at some point, but unless I buy a house that needs more furniture, it's unlikely that I will be buying any again other than mattresses and box springs.

My biggest spendthrift failing is cell phones and computers. I could keep them longer but I love new tech. It's a horrible dilemma that causes me to feel a certain degree of guilt.

Your post reminds me of an exchange I had with an older client as a broker. The old woman had more money than God but calls me one day and asked " do I have enough money to buy new tires for my car"? ( a 20 year old car btw lol). I said " i wouldnt do so at this time". It was not the most ethical thing I ever said but it was what she wanted to hear and I liked making her smile. Next day I call her son . I said " i dont mean to pry but if you really want to be the best son on earth why don't you buy your mom a new set of tires (they had around $8 million worth, another 3 liquid or eqiuvalent so the entire convo was hard to imagine happening lol. He said " i should buy her a new car" i was like " bless you" lol. Next day he bought a new car alright , for himself. Then he SOLD his mom his old car 7-8 years old. When I heard about it I called him and jokingly said " you are amazingly generous". He thought I was serious amd said " thank you, I try". Quite frankly the guy was too stupid too have money but being the pain in my ass he was I charged him full boat commish. Amazing how many people never asked " how much discretion do you have on fees"? Depending on how far the pain in my ass meter read concerning them my answer would be " quite a bit for you and another 20% discount day trades" to " lol..thats adorable then , not much" lol

[Dr. Who]

"Guilt" is a very common reflex emotion that often surfaces regarding finances. Its a survival skill and being raised by depression era parents a trait was environmental. I was speaking to someone a few hours ago that spent $5 million on a jet that costs 3-4k an hour to fly. Now he is second guessing himself. I didnt say this to him but I believe his capital outlay was a subconcious manner of self inflicted anxiety. The " anxiety" serves as a release mechanism emotionally but in people of his makeup its more of a motivational tool. He needs to feel a need. A need is a survival skill. I did tell him " i told you the day you bought your rationalizations were as off center as the money you are spending on the airplane. But...thats why you worked hard , took huge risks that made you who you are. I finally said " I know the air is thin up where blowing a few hundred k on a car you dont need fails to excite you but..embrace the jet and understand why the hell do the work if you do not understand the rewards? ". My father was not as practical as him. I remember dad having 11 cars at one time. My dad had nowhere near the capital this guy does. He just had an attitude of "if buying 11 cars was rational I probably wouldn't do it". I miss his sense of humor. I remember once I was going on a two week vacation alone. Dad said " be sure to get the Presidential Suite in case you dont waste enough money " finding yourself, son". I miss his love and heck no I did not get the presidential suite. I proudly informed him i had settled for a governers suite instesd lol..the scary part? I was serious. I know better now. Thank God I had a successful bookie operation from grade 5 thru college to teach me the ways of the Lawd !. Dang...lol

When I get an attack of the guilts, imagining my mother's disapproval - "why are you wasting money on a new (phone or computer) when the old one is still perfectly good", I think to myself, well girl, you've been working for most of your life, you should be allowed a little indulgence every few years. I have no debt and no children. You can't take it with you when you die.

[Dr. Who]

Your post reminds me of an exchange I had with an older client as a broker. The old woman had more money than God but calls me one day and asked " do I have enough money to buy new tires for my car"? ( a 20 year old car btw lol). I said " i wouldnt do so at this time". It was not the most ethical thing I ever said but it was what she wanted to hear and I liked making her smile. Next day I call her son . I said " i dont mean to pry but if you really want to be the best son on earth why don't you buy your mom a new set of tires (they had around $8 million worth, another 3 liquid or eqiuvalent so the entire convo was hard to imagine happening lol. He said " i should buy her a new car" i was like " bless you" lol. Next day he bought a new car alright , for himself. Then he SOLD his mom his old car 7-8 years old. When I heard about it I called him and jokingly said " you are amazingly generous". He thought I was serious amd said " thank you, I try". Quite frankly the guy was too stupid too have money but being the pain in my ass he was I charged him full boat commish. Amazing how many people never asked " how much discretion do you have on fees"? Depending on how far the pain in my ass meter read concerning them my answer would be " quite a bit for you and another 20% discount day trades" to " lol..thats adorable then , not much" lol

It never fails to amaze me how stingy some people are and some of the stingiest have more money than they could ever really use, yet some of the poorest people share what they can't really afford to share. That phenomenon is why there is so much discord among the children of the wealthy when they die, all fighting for a bigger share of the inheritance. Smart wealthy people don't do more than pay for their kid's educations and make them work for every penny, so that they don't grow up to be self-centered, self-indulgent A-Holes.

[Cotton1]

When I get an attack of the guilts, imagining my mother's disapproval - "why are you wasting money on a new (phone or computer) when the old one is still perfectly good", I think to myself, well girl, you've been working for most of your life, you should be allowed a little indulgence every few years. I have no debt and no children. You can't take it with you when you die.

Lucky you ! Thankfully , my mom always has been , is and always will be critical of everything I do. Fine, im not one for details so F-I-N-E, mom. The last time I was around her she said " you eat far to fast". Bait was tossed to me but I didnt take it. After a few more minutes she mumbled off some of her usual BS I ignore because I happen to enjoy being half sane. She then says " you were the sweetest little boy". ( her way of saying I was sweet but now Im not). I paused then said " fuk u" and left. I need to call her and see if she has maybe garnered the character to say " sowwy". Im tired of being the one to say " i sowwy" while thinking " brilliant cotton. Be sure to reenforce her poor behavior " lol. I would say " i give " but with dad in heaven its me against two sisters and mom. 3 females against 1 male. Thankfully I am wiser than them , a better strategist , understand how to use their weaknesses against them well in advance of their strengths. Ok, the only " strength" they have is their pathetic union of whatever they have. I simply have to keep the game flipped on them. They think " strength in numbers 3 against 1". I think. " 3 ways to be the lowlife schemer they are and btw , 3 opportunities for me to see who makes the first move . Will it be #1 little sis? Minister? " Sunday Money"? " hypocrite"? Or..#2? Older sis? Cunning, a genius who got her masters at 19 but a social moron? Her weakness? Hubby. Her strength? Master player of the victim card. Or..#3. Mom? Nope. She sits back and pulls the strings on her puppets. Just smart enough to enjoy the show instead of be a participant. I cant win lol..

It never fails to amaze me how stingy some people are and some of the stingiest have more money than they could ever really use, yet some of the poorest people share what they can't really afford to share. That phenomenon is why there is so much discord among the children of the wealthy when they die, all fighting for a bigger share of the inheritance. Smart wealthy people don't do more than pay for their kid's educations and make them work for every penny, so that they don't grow up to be self-centered, self-indulgent A-Holes.

[Dr. Who]

Lucky you ! Thankfully , my mom always has been , is and always will be critical of everything I do. Fine, im not one for details so F-I-N-E, mom. The last time I was around her she said " you eat far to fast". Bait was tossed to me but I didnt take it. After a few more minutes she mumbled off some of her usual BS I ignore because I happen to enjoy being half sane. She then says " you were the sweetest little boy". ( her way of saying I was sweet but now Im not). I paused then said " fuk u" and left. I need to call her and see if she has maybe garnered the character to say " sowwy". Im tired of being the one to say " i sowwy" while thinking " brilliant cotton. Be sure to reenforce her poor behavior " lol. I would say " i give " but with dad in heaven its me against two sisters and mom. 3 females against 1 male. Thankfully I am wiser than them , a better strategist , understand how to use their weaknesses against them well in advance of their strengths. Ok, the only " strength" they have is their pathetic union of whatever they have. I simply have to keep the game flipped on them. They think " strength in numbers 3 against 1". I think. " 3 ways to be the lowlife schemer they are and btw , 3 opportunities for me to see who makes the first move . Will it be #1 little sis? Minister? " Sunday Money"? " hypocrite"? Or..#2? Older sis? Cunning, a genius who got her masters at 19 but a social moron? Her weakness? Hubby. Her strength? Master player of the victim card. Or..#3. Mom? Nope. She sits back and pulls the strings on her puppets. Just smart enough to enjoy the show instead of be a participant. I cant win lol..

People are a product of their environments. I loved my mother but we didn't always get along. She had a lot of insecurities and that translated to criticism of others and a tendency to try to be controlling. I eventually determined that if we were going to have a relationship, I was going to have to ignore her shortcomings and just change the subject.