Resentments

[donttread]

I don't know how many of you think about this even by a different name. But resentments are toxic. I think most people know that.
So how do you deal with them once they appear or prevent them from growing into resentments to begin with.

[Common]

Depends on what kind of resentment youre talking about

[Peter1469]

I think the word resentment is over-hyped. It is merely a lack of self control.

[FindersKeepers]

I don't know how many of you think about this even by a different name. But resentments are toxic. I think most people know that.
So how do you deal with them once they appear or prevent them from growing into resentments to begin with.

Probably true. Resentments -- envy, jealousy, grudges -- they all take a toll on your emotional health.

When one begins to niggle at the back of your mind, purposefully turn your thoughts to something happier. Not easy, though. And, keep in mind that the other person can only hurt you if you allow them to do so. If you refuse to allow the thought of them to darken your day -- you win.

[midcan5]

Resentment is both individual and an emotional trait psychopaths and others play to win or convince. I am working on a thread on hate and guess what? another resentful white man murders others because they are others and he sees them as less than him and an incursion into what should be his alone. Evil is so obvious in America today, it hide under the covers for a while, but a 'black' president's election, and a now psychopathic president has pulled the covers back. To be fair this happened before Trump, he is only part of the hidden made visible.


"The shooter is almost always male. Of the past 129 mass shootings in the United States, all but three have been men. The shooter is socially alienated, and he can’t get laid. Every time you scratch the surface of the latest mass killing, in a movie theatre, a school, the streets of Paris or an abortion clinic, you find the weaponised loser. From Jihadi John of ISIS to Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris at Columbine, these men are invariably stuck in the emotional life of an adolescent. They always struggle with self-esteem – especially regarding women – and sometimes they give up entirely on the possibility of amorous fulfilment. There are different levels of tactical coordination, different ostensible grievances and different access to firearms, but the psyche beneath is invariably the same." https://aeon.co/essays/humiliation-a...mass-shootings



"From New Zealand to Pittsburgh to a synagogue in Poway, Calif., aggrieved white men over the last several months have turned to mass murder in service of hatred against immigrants, Jews and others they perceive as threats to the white race."
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/03/u...manifesto.html


'Why some white supremacists eventually give up on hate.'
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/...an-change.html


"The main hypothesis concerning group-think is this: The more amiability and esprit de corps among the members of the in-group of policy makers the greater the danger that independent thinking will be replaced by group-think, which is likely to result in irrational and dehumanizing actions directed at out-groups." from 'Sanctions for Evil;' Sanford and Comstock, 1971

[donttread]

Resentment is both individual and an emotional trait psychopaths and others play to win or convince. I am working on a thread on hate and guess what? another resentful white man murders others because they are others and he sees them as less than him and an incursion into what should be his alone. Evil is so obvious in America today, it hide under the covers for a while, but a 'black' president's election, and a now psychopathic president has pulled the covers back. To be fair this happened before Trump, he is only part of the hidden made visible.


"The shooter is almost always male. Of the past 129 mass shootings in the United States, all but three have been men. The shooter is socially alienated, and he can’t get laid. Every time you scratch the surface of the latest mass killing, in a movie theatre, a school, the streets of Paris or an abortion clinic, you find the weaponised loser. From Jihadi John of ISIS to Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris at Columbine, these men are invariably stuck in the emotional life of an adolescent. They always struggle with self-esteem – especially regarding women – and sometimes they give up entirely on the possibility of amorous fulfilment. There are different levels of tactical coordination, different ostensible grievances and different access to firearms, but the psyche beneath is invariably the same." https://aeon.co/essays/humiliation-a...mass-shootings



"From New Zealand to Pittsburgh to a synagogue in Poway, Calif., aggrieved white men over the last several months have turned to mass murder in service of hatred against immigrants, Jews and others they perceive as threats to the white race."
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/03/u...manifesto.html


'Why some white supremacists eventually give up on hate.'
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/...an-change.html


"The main hypothesis concerning group-think is this: The more amiability and esprit de corps among the members of the in-group of policy makers the greater the danger that independent thinking will be replaced by group-think, which is likely to result in irrational and dehumanizing actions directed at out-groups." from 'Sanctions for Evil;' Sanford and Comstock, 1971

I think some of them resulted bullies making their life a living hell. But sadly innocents always get hurt when the powder keg blows. But i am talking about resentments on a slightly smaller order of magnitude. Like your best friend stole your girl in 11th grade and secretly still wish them both sorrow.

[donttread]

So what I am referring to when I say resentment is an anger that goes deep and long term . There is no question that the worst kind of resentment is the "justified" kind because anyone with the ability to take along look in the mirror can deal with the ones he is actually responsible for. For example if somebody punched you in the nose in a bar you are going to be pissed for a bit. But if you are still dwelling on it 5 years later then it's hurting you more than he ever did. I'm talking about letting ingrained anger go. Maybe even (gasp) forgiving the EX!

[Mister D]

So what I am referring to when I say resentment is an anger that goes deep and long term . There is no question that the worst kind of resentment is the "justified" kind because anyone with the ability to take along look in the mirror can deal with the ones he is actually responsible for. For example if somebody punched you in the nose in a bar you are going to be pissed for a bit. But if you are still dwelling on it 5 years later then it's hurting you more than he ever did. I'm talking about letting ingrained anger go.

Wait...you mean you didn't want to turn this into a thread about Trump and "white nationalism"?

[Captain Obvious]

I don't know how many of you think about this even by a different name. But resentments are toxic. I think most people know that.
So how do you deal with them once they appear or prevent them from growing into resentments to begin with.

If the recipient of the resentment isn't willing to reconcile then it's difficult to manage. If the recipient of the resentment is willing to acknowledge and reconcile and the resentment remains that IMO is an unhealthy state of mind.

[DGUtley]

How about someone that harbors a deep resentment for someone that has modestly succeeded and gained some small amount of wealth. We see that displayed on here by some.