Hurt Feelings

[Captdon]

I have an idea -- and it's not going to be popular.

Let's see how long all of us can go without insulting another poster. Let's see if we can share our opinions about issues and subjects and not insinuate that another poster is a moron.

Recently, we've seen a lot of members get worked up -- and it's obvious feelings are getting hurt. It's pretty much a given that you have to have a thick skin to be on a forum like this, but try this -- try responding to a poster you don't like by pointing out something good about that poster. Watch how quickly that takes the wind out of their sails, and see how it can change the conversation around.

Just an idea.

My feelings aren't being hurt. No one is going to do that who isn't already doing that.

[Chris]

One problem - among several - is that not everyone seems to define "insult" in the same way - or else they appear to believe that when they do something it's okay, but if someone turns the tables on them and does the exact same thing, they've been insulted. There are members who will go on all day about how the other guy's "posting style" is this or that, and how he or she has a tendency to utilize some fallacious argument or other...but if someone points out something that they do that's wrong or annoying, suddenly you're guilty of an "ad hom". I mean, there's thin-skinned, and then there's ridiculously thin-skinned.

Yes, people do define insults differently. Some consider attacking the message equivalent to attacking the messenger. For example, if a logical flaw is ppointed out, like ad hom, some people take that personally and get upset about it and blame the one who points out the flaw in the post (not the poster). That is being thin-skinned.

[Chris]

I tried it. It made no difference.

What I see is many try for a few posts or half a day. Not good enough.

[Chris]

I give what I get is a common statement by many but it's doubtful any can go back and find the start of the give and take.

[Tahuyaman]

I have an idea -- and it's not going to be popular.

Let's see how long all of us can go without insulting another poster. Let's see if we can share our opinions about issues and subjects and not insinuate that another poster is a moron.

Recently, we've seen a lot of members get worked up -- and it's obvious feelings are getting hurt. It's pretty much a given that you have to have a thick skin to be on a forum like this, but try this -- try responding to a poster you don't like by pointing out something good about that poster. Watch how quickly that takes the wind out of their sails, and see how it can change the conversation around.

Just an idea.

It’ll never happen. It’s a good thought though.

[Cletus]

I have an idea -- and it's not going to be popular.

Let's see how long all of us can go without insulting another poster. Let's see if we can share our opinions about issues and subjects and not insinuate that another poster is a moron.

But... some of the other posters ARE morons.

Recently, we've seen a lot of members get worked up -- and it's obvious feelings are getting hurt. It's pretty much a given that you have to have a thick skin to be on a forum like this, but try this -- try responding to a poster you don't like by pointing out something good about that poster.

And if there is nothing good about that poster? I mean, seriously... there are a few people here who no matter how hard I look, I can find nothing redeeming about them. I tolerate them and try to be not too offensive toward them because forum etiquette says I am supposed to, but face to face, I wouldn't piss in their mouths if their tonsils were on fire.

Watch how quickly that takes the wind out of their sails, and see how it can change the conversation around.

Just an idea.

You ask much, but since it is you...

[Chris]

Last comments.

One, you can't change others, only yourself just as you can never win an argument on the Interweb.

Two, you have to allow for a certain amount of snark but constant snark touches on trolling. (And good God some need to learn what trolling means!)

Three, as others have said, attack the message not the messenger if for no other reason than the opposite is illogical and unreasonable in any civil argument.

[Cletus]

One problem - among several - is that not everyone seems to define "insult" in the same way - or else they appear to believe that when they do something it's okay, but if someone turns the tables on them and does the exact same thing, they've been insulted. There are members who will go on all day about how the other guy's "posting style" is this or that, and how he or she has a tendency to utilize some fallacious argument or other...but if someone points out something that they do that's wrong or annoying, suddenly you're guilty of an "ad hom". I mean, there's thin-skinned, and then there's ridiculously thin-skinned.

Most of the time when one of the crybabies here goes running to the mods saying they were insulted, it is because I offered and honest, straight up opinion. If they don't like it, they should get better.

[FindersKeepers]

But... some of the other posters ARE morons.
And if there is nothing good about that poster? I mean, seriously... there are a few people here who no matter how hard I look, I can find nothing redeeming about them.

LOL -- I think it's easy to see just one side of folks on forums like this. But, I think if we understood that everyone has come to their feelings and decisions based on the experiences they've had in life, I think it becomes easier to relate. You're not one of the ones who intentionally pokes and prods others -- you offer succinct posts that cut right to the heart of the matter.

I mean more like the tag-teaming that goes on. I get it -- and I've been a part of it more times than I can remember, but it's kind of a kick-them-while-they're-down thing. Maybe I'm mellowing with age. There's got to be something good about everyone. I'm not sure if the nation's political divisiveness is affecting social media or if social media had created the nation's political divisiveness. Maybe both.

I tolerate them and try to be not too offensive toward them because forum etiquette says I am supposed to, but face to face, I wouldn't piss in their mouths if their tonsils were on fire.

Well, that brings up a visual that's not making my cream of mushroom soup taste better.

You ask much, but since it is you...

I only ask much because I've come to expect much from you. Much more than I expect from say -------- okay, I'd break my own rule if I said the name I'm thinking...

[FindersKeepers]

Most of the time when one of the crybabies here goes running to the mods saying they were insulted, it is because I offered and honest, straight up opinion. If they don't like it, they should get better.

I never report anything. Well, not if it's against me. I know I've reported at least once in the past when someone was way out of hand concerning another poster.