Yes, more men are violent than women. But that is still a small percentage of men. Although there are far for female DV perps than you might guess. As for control within relationships you should look at the stats on lesbian partner violence. It may just be that some people of both sexes are bullies and that bullies don't start physical fights they cannot win. But as for emotional control and abuse tactics well I don't see that men have any corner on that sick market.
Don't get me wrong, i worked in a hospital for 15 years and DV horrifies me. I guess before that I thought it was some guy losing control and slapping his wife or vice versa. But I learned that the control type of violence you refer to is far worse. Extended assaults , dragging her around by the hair. Things the same guy wouldn't do to another man in a bar fight. I knew a couple once that claimed they settled their disputes via knock down drag out physical fights. She out weighed him. Crazy stuff.
Despite my assertion that control abusers of either sex are bullies I do think teaching men how to talk about what's going on in their heads might help. It would certainly help with the higher rates of male suicide and early death.