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Thread: Cops stopping you

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    Captdon's Avatar Senior Member
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    Cops stopping you

    I got these from facebook.

    These are actual comments made by North Carolina State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you." (LOVE IT)6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."AND THE WINNER IS....16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.(Favorite)
    Liberals are a clear and present danger to our nation
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    Cotton1's Avatar Senior Member
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    I love #16 lol
    I'm yo.
    This my brother yo
    We yo yo

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    Captdon (05-02-2020)

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    I remember writing a guy once for a U-turn within 100' of an intersection. The traffic was kind of heavy so I wrote him for a ticket I'd normally not write.

    So court day comes up and the man contests the ticket. He told the Judge, "Your Honor I have exactly size 12 feet and I walked the distance to the Intersection from where I turned and I counted out exactly 103' after the officer left". The Judge then asked me to testify as to what I saw happened.

    I looked at the man, looked at the judge, looked at the man again, and then looked at the Judge and said, "Hell Judge I believe him". The entire court roared with laughter including the Judge. It was obvious to me the guy was an honest citizen telling the truth so there was only one honorable thing to do.
    “We hold these truths to be self-evident,” "All men and women created by — you know, you know, the thing.”

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    Captdon (05-02-2020)

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    Common's Avatar Senior Member
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    I once had a very attractive female put moves on me in the hopes flattery would bail her out. When that didnt work she named a police officer that she was very close too for many years. She asked me If I knew him, I said sure hes very close to me, how do you know him and she happily told me...I said to her can you read, she said of course, I said can you see she said yes why...I said you should have looked and read my name tag....She was dropping my name to me...
    LETS GO BRANDON
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    Cotton1 (05-03-2020)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Common View Post
    I once had a very attractive female put moves on me in the hopes flattery would bail her out. When that didnt work she named a police officer that she was very close too for many years. She asked me If I knew him, I said sure hes very close to me, how do you know him and she happily told me...I said to her can you read, she said of course, I said can you see she said yes why...I said you should have looked and read my name tag....She was dropping my name to me...
    Lol. My cousin was a policeman in Missouri before he joined the FBI. Him and his partner were patrolling near St Louis. They pulled this lady over and his partner went to her car. She flashed her breasts at him trying to avoid a ticket. His partner comes back to the patrol car and told him what happened. He asked why he didnt write her up anyway. He remarked and said "well she was only going 55".
    I'm yo.
    This my brother yo
    We yo yo

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    Common (05-03-2020)

  10. #6

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    One Friday night, I had worked late and I stopped to get gas. I pulled out of the Sheetz station onto SR18 and headed West towards Medina. In 30 seconds I see lights behind me and look down and I'm doing 55 in a 55. I pull into a church on the right. The sheriff's deputy came up to the window:

    Sir, can are you alright, you were weaving...

    Deputy, I was not weaving.

    Sir, are you ok, have you been drinking, you were weaving.

    Deputy, I don't drink and I wasn't weaving. Let's go the station and review the video.

    Sir, you were speeding.

    Deputy I was not weaving and I was not speeding. If I'd been on the phone, maybe I'd have drifted but I wasn't on the phone, what's this about.

    Well, it's late, it's Friday and we're looking for drunk drivers.

    You know this is an illegal stop, right?

    I was just doing a welfare check.
    Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect. -- Woody Hayes​

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