Folks our enrollment quota has been met again this Fall. The upper class neighborhoods are doing well and since they are, our cost structure will be changed. That's how capitalism works, but hey you knew that.
Check below our reply to potential students for some free lectures about topics of interest.
Are you the kidding kind? If you enroll in our night classes soon you'll be on your way to a successful career and spokesperson of our college. You'll be able to challenge the liberal policies of equality and fairness and make them into the problem. Join now.
Troll is so unfaltering. Our school takes pride in our ideas and the above is a revised curriculum. We must spread the word. It is important that you check through our courses carefully, and if you should find one that is either irrelevant or hypocritical such as 'compassionate conservatism' we'd like to know. Our professors and student teachers are all ears if you know what we mean. We like the grassroots label, we may integrate that concept into our brochures.
Special Lecture Notices:
'Irritus now conducts free lectures covering issues that are important to our public at large. Lectures will include timely topics that often confuse and complicate our simple message. Ambiguity in messaging can confuse our base and often even us.
Guns Safety and Slogans:
Citizens have every right to be safe in America, a massively armed society does not make anyone feel safe. Obviously it's important we support weapon manufacturers but at the same time our people must win re-election. So this lecture will cover how to avoid being looked upon as a nutcase with no concern for voter's safety. Topics include:
If your constituency is not full of rabid gun nuts how you can abstain from voting.
How to answer questions about the death of a loved one by unnecessary and once illegal automatic weapons.
How to appear sincerely concerned over children's deaths.
If your constituency, like Ted Cruz's, is full of gun nuts you're among the lucky ones. But death is final so try not to smile so much. We must appear caring.
Following the lecture there will be an open forum in which tactics going forward will be covered.
War Lecture
Another war, more deaths, more Muslim hatred of America, how do we talk about and defend the complexity that is the Middle East today and the hard part is how we justify all the spending that could help America, but instead is used to pay for cruise missiles?
Number one rule, always mention Hitler.
Then say we cannot look weak and the world is really on our side even if they are not.
Make sure collateral damage is aimed at the foes and is really their fault.
Bring home a badly wounded child to be used as a detraction from the horror of war, shows how much we care.
Praise the bravery of our people and the courage of our congress even though most would never serve in the military.
Remember always that with war come war profits and you know that mantra.
Topics will be frequently updated as topics and issues enter the public arena and confuse our base.