Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today
- Barack Obama's college transcripts from thirty years ago are of vital national importance. Willard Mitt Romney’s tax returns from the last ten years are nobody's business.
- The losses of life in Benghazi are the fault of the President, not the Republican Congress that voted to cut funding for embassy security.
- Defense cuts are bad because they lead to job losses. Cuts to any other part of the government are irrelevant to job losses.
- It's okay that Paul Ryan had to provide ten years of tax returns to the Romney campaign when being vetted for Vice President. It's not okay that people keep asking for ten years of Rmoney's tax returns while vetting him to be President.
- Asking the top earners to pay more in income taxes is "divisive". Referring to half the country as "moochers" is not.
- Cutting the $450 million a year funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting while increasing defense spending and giving the rich another $5 trillion tax cut will balance the budget.
- Michelle Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, Alan West, Todd Akin, and Joe Walsh are intelligent, rational human beings.
- George HW Bush, George W Bush, Jeb Bush, John McCain, Rand Paul, Steve Forbes, Connie Mack IV, and Willard Mitt Romney are all self-made men and don't owe their success to anyone else's prior accomplishments.
- You get outraged every time a Democrat blames anything on George W. Bush, but blame things on Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter at every opportunity.
- Disagreeing with the Catholic Church on birth control and abortion is a "War on religion". Disagreeing with the Catholic Church on the death penalty, immigration, caring for the poor, and the Iraq War is not.
- Being a law professor is "elitist". Owning a competitive dancing horse is not.
- Mandatory invasive pat-downs of airline passengers is an offensive invasion of privacy. Mandatory invasive vaginal probes of women wanting a legal medical procedure performed is just and proper.
- Just because the Republican Congress opposes, votes down, and filibusters every piece of legislation the President supports clearly means the President deserves all of the blame for the state of the economy.
- Just because the Republican Congress opposes, votes down, and filibusters every piece of legislation the President supports is no reason for him to actually use executive branch power in pursuit of his policy goals.
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Originally Posted by roadmaster
