The Fifteen Girl Commandments

[IMPress Polly]

1. Thou shalt look cute.
2. Thou shalt turn that frown upside down, especially when unhappy.
3. Thou shalt dream small or not at all.
4. Thou shalt keep thine achievements to thyself.
5. Shouldst the shame of thine achievements become known, ye shalt attribute them to others and/or luck.
6. Thou shalt not defend thyself from attack, but calleth upon a man instead.
7. Thou shalt keep thine abuse to thyself.
8. Shouldst the shame of thine abuse become known, thou shalt blame thyself.
9. Thou shalt never accept a compliment, for thy self-esteem mattereth not.
10. Thou shalt dress as uncomfortably as possible, for it buildeth character.
11. Thou shalt weigh thyself at least twelve times a day and perform routine mirror checks.
12. Thou shalt calleth upon thy partner to help in vain and wind up performing all regular household labor thyself.
13. Thou shalt not enjoy sex, but pretendeth to.
14. Thou shalt not say "abortion", "child support", or "feminist".
15. Thou shalt not be a lesbian except for porn.
16. Thou shalt gripeth not about any of this, lest ye be branded a nag and shunned.

How did I do with this, @Dr. Who, @Chloe, @Trish, @AeonPax, @silvereyes, @Perianne?

[Cthulhu]

Blarg.

Sorry. But there are those in other countries who actually might have these problems that could actually use your help.

Sent from my evil cell phone.

[The Xl]

If you're not enjoying sex, you're doing it wrong, or at least your partner is doing it wrong.

In all seriousness, why are these the girl commandments?

[Carlsen]

.
Thou shalt live my dreams and make them come true



.

[Chris]

[Trish]

1. Thou shalt look cute. - Not a problem
2. Thou shalt turn that frown upside down, especially when unhappy. - I can do that
3. Thou shalt dream small or not at all. - Ummmmm
4. Thou shalt keep thine achievements to thyself. - alright...I generally don't boast about how great I am
5. Shouldst the shame of thine achievements become known, ye shalt attribute them to others and/or luck. -Okie dokie, I'm a team player
6. Thou shalt not defend thyself from attack, but calleth upon a man instead. -good idea, I mean I might break a nail
7. Thou shalt keep thine abuse to thyself. - Oh hell no....
8. Shouldst the shame of thine abuse become known, thou shalt blame thyself. - riiiiight
9. Thou shalt never accept a compliment, for thy self-esteem mattereth not. - meh - I don't need no stink'in compliments
10. Thou shalt dress as uncomfortably as possible, for it buildeth character. -I already do. It's called a bra.....
11. Thou shalt weigh thyself at least twelve times a day and perform routine mirror checks. - yeah....that's not happening.
12. Thou shalt calleth upon thy partner to help in vain and wind up performing all regular household labor thyself. -Not a problem since I do this anyhow
13. Thou shalt not enjoy sex, but pretendeth to. - This is new?
14. Thou shalt not say "abortion", "child support", or "feminist". - and thou shalt not get sex!
15. Thou shalt not be a lesbian except for porn. - uh....no (not that there's anything wrong with that)
16. Thou shalt gripeth not about any of this, lest ye be branded a nag and shunned. -Thou shalt not get sex!

How did I do with this, @Dr. Who, @Chloe, @Trish, @AeonPax, @silvereyes, @Perianne?

[Standing Wolf]

1. Thou shalt look cute.
2. Thou shalt turn that frown upside down, especially when unhappy.
3. Thou shalt dream small or not at all.
4. Thou shalt keep thine achievements to thyself.
5. Shouldst the shame of thine achievements become known, ye shalt attribute them to others and/or luck.
6. Thou shalt not defend thyself from attack, but calleth upon a man instead.
7. Thou shalt keep thine abuse to thyself.
8. Shouldst the shame of thine abuse become known, thou shalt blame thyself.
9. Thou shalt never accept a compliment, for thy self-esteem mattereth not.
10. Thou shalt dress as uncomfortably as possible, for it buildeth character.
11. Thou shalt weigh thyself at least twelve times a day and perform routine mirror checks.
12. Thou shalt calleth upon thy partner to help in vain and wind up performing all regular household labor thyself.
13. Thou shalt not enjoy sex, but pretendeth to.
14. Thou shalt not say "abortion", "child support", or "feminist".
15. Thou shalt not be a lesbian except for porn.
16. Thou shalt gripeth not about any of this, lest ye be branded a nag and shunned.

There are certainly men who make demands like this of women; likewise, there are women who make equally unfair, unrealistic and soul-killing demands upon men. I haven't the time right now to make a list, but a couple that spring to mind are: Thou shalt be honest and open with your thoughts and feelings unless you were planning to say something that a woman doesn't want to hear; and Thou shalt suppress your natural urge to try to solve a problem that you've been informed about, express sympathy and pretend that you don't have any idea how to fix it.

[kilgram]

1. Thou shalt look cute. 2. Thou shalt turn that frown upside down, especially when unhappy. 3. Thou shalt dream small or not at all. 4. Thou shalt keep thine achievements to thyself. 5. Shouldst the shame of thine achievements become known, ye shalt attribute them to others and/or luck. 6. Thou shalt not defend thyself from attack, but calleth upon a man instead. 7. Thou shalt keep thine abuse to thyself. 8. Shouldst the shame of thine abuse become known, thou shalt blame thyself. 9. Thou shalt never accept a compliment, for thy self-esteem mattereth not. 10. Thou shalt dress as uncomfortably as possible, for it buildeth character. 11. Thou shalt weigh thyself at least twelve times a day and perform routine mirror checks. 12. Thou shalt calleth upon thy partner to help in vain and wind up performing all regular household labor thyself. 13. Thou shalt not enjoy sex, but pretendeth to. 14. Thou shalt not say "abortion", "child support", or "feminist". 15. Thou shalt not be a lesbian except for porn. 16. Thou shalt gripeth not about any of this, lest ye be branded a nag and shunned. How did I do with this, @Dr. Who, @Chloe, @Trish, @AeonPax, @silvereyes, @Perianne?

I know it is sarccasm, however I haver a question. pretendeth is correct old English? :-S

[Crepitus]

Why do I suddenly have the urge to say "yes dear, you're right, I'm sorry"?

[Trish]

Why do I suddenly have the urge to say "yes dear, you're right, I'm sorry"?

Because of my answer to number 16? hahahahahaha