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Thread: Then there is this....

  1. #11
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    silvereyes's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Common View Post
    My neighbor got diagnosed not long ago and in fla the law says the Dr has to report it immediately and within 48 yrs they take your drivers license away. He was destroyed a couple of us neighbors helped them out for a few months, taking them to appts and grocery shopping. Ironically yesterday I saw a truck there emptying the house he and his wife didnt even tell us they were leaving, I said he must have forgotten he wasnt that type of guy. Anyway I dont know where they went but I just wish them the very very best.
    Yes, they took his license. He was LIVID....still is.
    Luckily for my mom the place we found for them (before they actually retired fully in Dubai and came home to Texas) was outside Marble Falls. Their long-time dream retirement home. On the lakefront, double boat dock, deck built over the dock to sit and have mornining coffee, gorgeous view of the sunsets over the lake, etc...
    It also only ONE entrance in and out of the neighborhood. At the time we were unaware of dad's condition. They rarely came home while living in Dubai....plus, my dad has always been called The Absent-minded Professor by colleagues and students so we didnt notice on the 2-3 day visits. My mom knew....like many in her generation she embarassed, frightened, ashamed by it. When we fully knew we realized that one way entrance was a blessing. That paired with their house being on a corner 3 blocks from it gave my mom and the knowing watchful neighbors a view of when my dad was "touring the neighborhood" as they called it. Hed walk everywhere....but he didnt get far past their little corner. The neighbors would call each other.. "Hes over here visiting Don." "Now hes over here giving tomato planting advice to Charlie." Lol

    It was a comfort to my mom that they had so many helping her looking out for him. Being his "caregiver" wasnt easy. He loved outside and working with his hands. Taking away his power tools really pissed him off but it had to be done or hed turn one on and forget and walk away with new advice or a question for someone. Her sudden death really hit us super hard and left us not only motherless but him totally lost.
    Like i said, its been rough for all of us, especially him. When he was living here the year after she died I (and all my kids) were the ones visiting him and taking him to doctors appointments. Being here just made sense because he had many old college teacher friends that would go see him and take him out and about. Plus, all his brothers and sisters were within an hours drive. My uncle who lives here saw him alot. Hed pick him up for the weekend and take him to their place in the country and theyd have a blast....like 2 grumpy old teenagers as my aunt described it.
    Sadly, as much as we all did for him the staff at this place was simply minimum wage girls who (we found out) did the minimum they had to at best. He ended up in the urologists office several times due to infections then the hospital. I went one time unannounced and they were looking for him. Like all over. I went to his room and it was nasty. Dried feces from the bathroom to the living room on the couch into the kitchen. I walked out and went to the common room. He was coming out of the public bathroom....fully dressed and clean. I flipped out asking why his room was in that condition. Apparently someone else was in his room and did that. Daddy said he wasnt using his toilet because it was filthy. He has alz but hes not stupid. I took pictures and footage and sent it to my sisters. At $5000 (yes. 5000)/month.... No way he was staying there. So we looked around and found an amazing place outside Austin very close to my sister's house. The staff is all amazing. Medical staff on board 24/7, they are kept busy from the time they get up until they go to bed..... And i dont mean coloring pictures. They are given room buddies comparable to their intelligence levels. My dad's room buddy is a retired doctor. They are taken to museums, concerts, etc... Hes allowed to have a garden, which he loves. Hes allowed to eat seconds at mealtimes (they griped if he asked here). I kept his fridge and cabinets stocked. His snacks would disappear fast. I knew it wasnt him. Up there there are snacks and fruits set out everywhere for the residents. When they moved home my sister tried for months to get him an appointment with the number one neurologist in Austin. He was not taking more patients. He simply had no time. Hes on the board of directors at dads place. Pets are not only allowed but welcome with smiles.
    Dad loves it.
    If you made it this far, thanks. Sometimes it helps me remember that me not seeing him everyday is sad for me and us here but hes thriving up there, too.
    At the end of the day...I am still glad that I am me. Tail and all.

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  3. #12
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    hanger4's Avatar Advisor
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    My thoughts and prayers silvereyes.
    It's ok if you disagree with me. I can't force you to be right.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to hanger4 For This Useful Post:

    Peter1469 (01-06-2018),Ravens Fan (01-06-2018),silvereyes (01-06-2018)

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