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Thread: My nephew finally came out today...

  1. #21
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    Kacper's Avatar Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by silvereyes View Post
    What if it is a goldfish?









    Kidding.
    As long as they find another pond to play in, have at it.

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    zelmo1234's Avatar Senior Member
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    Here is what I hope that we can get to

    I would have been much happier if he had come out as a person that was going to work hard and help his fellow man,

    What importance is there on him say Hey Look at me I am Gay? Who Cares? If he is a good man, Gob Bless him, no matter his chosen lifestyle.

    Do all of us Straight people have to come out as Straight. It should not matter one bit. That is all I am saying.

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  5. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Who View Post
    My nephew, who is almost thirty, finally came out today. I've been waiting for about 15 years. I think everyone except his parents knew. It was like an open secret in the family that no one could mention because of his father. I'm so happy that he is now free. He is the sweetest and nicest person that you could ever hope to know and trying to pretend be someone who he is not, has almost driven him to suicide. This is a great day, because now he can really have a life and stop hating himself for not being the son that his father expected. It's not that he was treated badly by his father - the opposite. His father adores him and in a way has lived vicariously through him. My nephew is very talented, as is his father.

    Had he been treated badly, I'm sure he would have come out years ago, but he was so afraid to hurt his parents that he has been torturing himself for years. He has never even admitted it to the family and no one pressed him about it, but we all knew since he was about 11 or 12, maybe even before.
    I'm so happy for him because now he can be himself and actually have a life - he deserves to be happy.
    My nephew is out to his Catholic side (my side) but not to my sister's ex's Baptist side. It matter not at all to us, which I think surprised him. He still hasn't come out to his Baptist brothers, or his Dad. Sadly. I wish he could live his life as he is.
    Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect. -- Woody Hayes​

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    I'm still not sure why the reluctance to do so or big deal anymore. Just go be happy in the life you desire.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Common View Post
    You assumed then Doc, this time you were right, ive been wrong more than right in my assumptions over the years.
    I can't say it was an assumption. More like intuition.
    In quoting my post, you affirm and agree that you have not been goaded, provoked, emotionally manipulated or otherwise coerced into responding.



    "The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.”
    Mahatma Gandhi

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    Quote Originally Posted by DGUtley View Post
    My nephew is out to his Catholic side (my side) but not to my sister's ex's Baptist side. It matter not at all to us, which I think surprised him. He still hasn't come out to his Baptist brothers, or his Dad. Sadly. I wish he could live his life as he is.
    Sometimes I think the Southern Baptists are a bit harsher on this stuff. Religion for all its good, has some serious downsides.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silvereyes View Post
    Yep. I cant imagine how scared any of them must be....no matter how much we show our love prior. That sense of disappointment must be the worst.
    ((((Hugs))))
    It can be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr. Who View Post
    It's hard to explain how we knew. I can only say it was in his eyes and in his demeanor. I think that if you know many gay men, it's easier to see. My husband said to me today, what he noticed very early on was how my nephew didn't look at women - meaning he didn't have that certain look in his eyes when a pretty women was around. My nephew has always had a gaggle of female friends, but they were always 'just friends' no matter how gorgeous.
    Looking at pretty girls at age 11? Come on. I don't care if he's gay or not but this is absurd.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zelmo1234 View Post
    Here is what I hope that we can get to

    I would have been much happier if he had come out as a person that was going to work hard and help his fellow man,

    What importance is there on him say Hey Look at me I am Gay? Who Cares? If he is a good man, Gob Bless him, no matter his chosen lifestyle.

    Do all of us Straight people have to come out as Straight. It should not matter one bit. That is all I am saying.
    I can understand your position, but I think you are looking at it wrong. First off, most people are straight, so there is no need to "come out" as straight. But when you spend your life living a lie, it eats you up a bit. When you decide to stop living that lie, it becomes important that you stop lying to the people you love and respect. Who did not say that her nephew was marching in the local pride parade half naked shouting "I'm gay" to the world, he simply told those he cares about.

    I do agree that one's sexuality should not matter one bit, but that is not the reality yet. I do see promise in the new generation though, they don't seem to care nearly as much about it as mine (and Who's nephew's) did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captdon View Post
    Looking at pretty girls at age 11? Come on. I don't care if he's gay or not but this is absurd.
    I had already started puberty by 11, and pretty much knew I liked guys way more by that time (although I continued to lie to myself for another 20 years or so).

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