PDA

View Full Version : A Guide To Good BBQ



GrassrootsConservative
06-18-2013, 09:01 PM
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS THE MAN for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Peter1469
06-18-2013, 09:10 PM
I see.

oceanloverOH
06-18-2013, 09:40 PM
We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS THE MAN for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

This is quite accurate, at least at my house!

Chloe
06-18-2013, 09:47 PM
Well I know that my future husband will not be so lucky. He will have to learn how to make and grill a falafel and/or garden burger instead :)

Peter1469
06-18-2013, 09:51 PM
Well I know that my future husband will not be so lucky. He will have to learn how to make and grill a falafel and/or garden burger instead :)

:shocked:

No man would do that. Sorry.

Several years ago I was in the Midwest for some contract litigation matters and the one female attorney with us was a vegetarian. We were having dinner at this place and she asked for something without meat, they gave her a plate with what looked like a can of corn placed on it.

I had a 20 ounce ribeye.

Micketto
06-19-2013, 07:16 AM
Well I know that my future husband will not be so lucky. He will have to learn how to make and grill a falafel and/or garden burger instead :)

Wait... guys that eat "garden burgers"... are guys that like women ?!?


; )

GrassrootsConservative
06-19-2013, 04:15 PM
This is quite accurate, at least at my house!

I figure it's accurate everywhere.

Private Pickle
06-20-2013, 10:04 AM
Well I know that my future husband will not be so lucky. He will have to learn how to make and grill a falafel and/or garden burger instead :)

Better plan on becoming a lesbian.

Chloe
06-20-2013, 10:13 AM
Better plan on becoming a lesbian.

I wouldn't keep him from eating meat, but i won't be preparing his meat meals for him. He can grill his own steak and I will help with the veggies or something.