Green Arrow
03-31-2014, 09:38 AM
via CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/living/chris-brown-female-on-male-rape/):
(CNN) -- "Go back to sleep."
Groggy from a night of drinking, that's precisely what James Landrith did.
The next morning, Landrith -- who was 19 at the time -- woke up in a bed that he quickly realized was not his own. As his haze lifted, he recognized the woman who ordered him to sleep the night before as a friend of a friend.
He remembered she asked for a ride home after their mutual friend left the nightclub where they'd been partying. He remembered the woman was pregnant and bought him drinks as a thank you.
He remembered feeling disoriented, and her suggesting a motel room to sleep it off. He even remembered lying down with his pants on, uncomfortable taking them off in front of a stranger, only to awaken later and find the woman straddling him. What he didn't remember was saying "yes."
The morning after, that familiar voice told him that he could hurt the baby if he put up a fight. Then, he says, she forced herself on him again. A few minutes later it was over. One night in a motel twin bed turned into years of self-examination.
It took some time, and the help of a therapist, to get there: "I was finally able to call it what it was," he says.
Landrith had been raped.
...
"I want people to understand that it's not about how physically strong you are," he says. "We [men] are conditioned to believe that we cannot be victimized in such a way."
According to a 2010 report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States have been raped. The actual number is likely higher, experts say, as incidents of sexual violence are severely underreported in the United States -- particularly among male victims.
Experts say any sexual assault victim requires extensive emotional and psychological healing after the incident, but male survivors have a harder time putting words to what happened.
In 2012, the FBI's Uniform Crime Report made a significant stride by redefining rape as: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
The prior definition -- "the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will" -- hadn't been changed since 1927, and sexual assault awareness groups say it alienated victims that didn't fit the mold.
Probably the best point the article makes is the next two paragraphs:
"Often, male survivors may be less likely to identify what happened to them as abuse or assault because of the general notion that men always want sex," says Jennifer Marsh, the vice president for Victim Services at RAINN, an anti-sexual violence organization.
"Males have the added burden of facing a society that doesn't believe rape can happen to them ... at all," says psychotherapist Elizabeth Donovan.
She says gender roles dictate that males are expected to be strong and self-reliant -- men are viewed as those who seek sexual conquests instead of those who "fend them off."
Yet another reason why strict gender roles are damaging society. As the video I posted last night said further, our society conditions men to think that sex is great and you're supposed to love it. After all, how could you not enjoy it, if you got an erection? You didn't say no...but did you ever say yes?
The problem is further exacerbated for men who were raped by a woman. The fact that admitting to such a thing would cause relentless humiliation by society to begin with is problem enough. Rather than admit to being raped, a male victim of rape will often keep the rape to themselves for fear of humiliation and verbal (sometimes even physical) abuse. They even get mocked by some women. We have created a culture that forces victims of rape, from both genders, but particularly men, to keep it quiet and not do anything about it. Or, worse, to bottle up the feelings and pretend that it was an enjoyable experience.
There is even a category of porn that is nothing but simulated rape, where the woman comes out of it enjoying it in the end and being sooo glad that she was raped by the hunk with the big dick. That's not reality, but it certainly does a hell of a lot to twist our reality.
Organizations like RAINN (http://www.rainn.org/) - Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network - make it their mission to change American rape culture for the better, so that victims can get the help and understanding they need to overcome what happened to them and hopefully prevent others from becoming victims. They also keep relevant statistics on the topic, but of course, it always has to be remembered that no statistic is fully accurate and captures the full scope of rape in America, because so many men (and women) are afraid to speak up and admit to being raped.
(CNN) -- "Go back to sleep."
Groggy from a night of drinking, that's precisely what James Landrith did.
The next morning, Landrith -- who was 19 at the time -- woke up in a bed that he quickly realized was not his own. As his haze lifted, he recognized the woman who ordered him to sleep the night before as a friend of a friend.
He remembered she asked for a ride home after their mutual friend left the nightclub where they'd been partying. He remembered the woman was pregnant and bought him drinks as a thank you.
He remembered feeling disoriented, and her suggesting a motel room to sleep it off. He even remembered lying down with his pants on, uncomfortable taking them off in front of a stranger, only to awaken later and find the woman straddling him. What he didn't remember was saying "yes."
The morning after, that familiar voice told him that he could hurt the baby if he put up a fight. Then, he says, she forced herself on him again. A few minutes later it was over. One night in a motel twin bed turned into years of self-examination.
It took some time, and the help of a therapist, to get there: "I was finally able to call it what it was," he says.
Landrith had been raped.
...
"I want people to understand that it's not about how physically strong you are," he says. "We [men] are conditioned to believe that we cannot be victimized in such a way."
According to a 2010 report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States have been raped. The actual number is likely higher, experts say, as incidents of sexual violence are severely underreported in the United States -- particularly among male victims.
Experts say any sexual assault victim requires extensive emotional and psychological healing after the incident, but male survivors have a harder time putting words to what happened.
In 2012, the FBI's Uniform Crime Report made a significant stride by redefining rape as: "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."
The prior definition -- "the carnal knowledge of a female, forcibly and against her will" -- hadn't been changed since 1927, and sexual assault awareness groups say it alienated victims that didn't fit the mold.
Probably the best point the article makes is the next two paragraphs:
"Often, male survivors may be less likely to identify what happened to them as abuse or assault because of the general notion that men always want sex," says Jennifer Marsh, the vice president for Victim Services at RAINN, an anti-sexual violence organization.
"Males have the added burden of facing a society that doesn't believe rape can happen to them ... at all," says psychotherapist Elizabeth Donovan.
She says gender roles dictate that males are expected to be strong and self-reliant -- men are viewed as those who seek sexual conquests instead of those who "fend them off."
Yet another reason why strict gender roles are damaging society. As the video I posted last night said further, our society conditions men to think that sex is great and you're supposed to love it. After all, how could you not enjoy it, if you got an erection? You didn't say no...but did you ever say yes?
The problem is further exacerbated for men who were raped by a woman. The fact that admitting to such a thing would cause relentless humiliation by society to begin with is problem enough. Rather than admit to being raped, a male victim of rape will often keep the rape to themselves for fear of humiliation and verbal (sometimes even physical) abuse. They even get mocked by some women. We have created a culture that forces victims of rape, from both genders, but particularly men, to keep it quiet and not do anything about it. Or, worse, to bottle up the feelings and pretend that it was an enjoyable experience.
There is even a category of porn that is nothing but simulated rape, where the woman comes out of it enjoying it in the end and being sooo glad that she was raped by the hunk with the big dick. That's not reality, but it certainly does a hell of a lot to twist our reality.
Organizations like RAINN (http://www.rainn.org/) - Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network - make it their mission to change American rape culture for the better, so that victims can get the help and understanding they need to overcome what happened to them and hopefully prevent others from becoming victims. They also keep relevant statistics on the topic, but of course, it always has to be remembered that no statistic is fully accurate and captures the full scope of rape in America, because so many men (and women) are afraid to speak up and admit to being raped.