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View Full Version : What is the absolute worst movie you've ever seen?



Standing Wolf
01-19-2016, 10:33 PM
Mine is Ice Pirates. Ron Perlman (who appears in it) said it best in his book: "It was a piece of s**t and I don't want to talk about it." Physically painful to watch.

del
01-19-2016, 10:44 PM
broken arrow

unwatchable and the soundtrack played at 12

Crepitus
01-19-2016, 11:10 PM
This little gem I found on netflix. It makes sharknado look like high culture.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G5pyFhmAqE

Private Pickle
01-19-2016, 11:30 PM
Earnest Goes to Camp. Walked out of it when I was 12.

zelmo1234
01-19-2016, 11:31 PM
Jaws, 4

Just keeps telling you how bad it is all the way through

Common
01-20-2016, 02:03 AM
Cant remember the name it was B rated Horror movie with Paris Hilton in it. I was visiting my daughter and she put it on, I got dressed and went to the VFW

William
01-20-2016, 07:54 AM
Hard to say - there are so many really sucky movies - saw most of these on DVD, and wish I hadn't wasted so many hours of my life.

Titanic (I read somewhere they got every historic detail they could wrong - including the ship's purser running around with a gun.)
The Sound of Music - Eew - I was hoping they would all get shot.
All the Star Wars series - totally unbelievable tosh!
Braveheart - 14th century Scots running around with blue painted faces (didn't happen since the Celts of Roman times) - strong contender for the worst, together with -
The Patriot - described by Time as one of the most historically misleading films ever, and as "pure, blatant American Hollywood propaganda. A complete whitewashing of history.”

I guess that's enough to be getting on with - should be something there to offend everyone. :grin:

Cigar
01-20-2016, 08:02 AM
Debbie Does Cleveland

Standing Wolf
01-20-2016, 08:34 AM
Hard to say - there are so many really sucky movies - saw most of these on DVD, and wish I hadn't wasted so many hours of my life.

Titanic (I read somewhere they got every historic detail they could wrong - including the ship's purser running around with a gun.)
The Sound of Music - Eew - I was hoping they would all get shot.
All the Star Wars series - totally unbelievable tosh!
Braveheart - 14th century Scots running around with blue painted faces (didn't happen since the Celts of Roman times) - strong contender for the worst, together with -
The Patriot - described by Time as one of the most historically misleading films ever, and as "pure, blatant American Hollywood propaganda. A complete whitewashing of history.”

I guess that's enough to be getting on with - should be something there to offend everyone.

Well, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion and "worst" is certainly a subjective things, but...really? All of the movies you name had at least decent production values, a plot, stuff like that - they weren't just so blatantly, embarrassingly Bad with a capital "B" that they premiered on tape or dvd and came off looking like a high school video arts production that earned a D-minus. :grin:

Peter1469
01-20-2016, 04:01 PM
I was waiting for my truck to be serviced and I went to see a horror flick at the mall. It was so bad I got up after a half hour and went to watch the paint dry at the service place.

Doublejack
01-20-2016, 04:10 PM
Awe I loved Ice Pirates ! Then again I was pretty young and sci-fi was pretty much all composed of b movies at the time.

7 years in tibet aka 7 years on my ass... only movie I ever walked out of the theater.

William
01-20-2016, 05:27 PM
Well, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion and "worst" is certainly a subjective things, but...really? All of the movies you name had at least decent production values, a plot, stuff like that - they weren't just so blatantly, embarrassingly Bad with a capital "B" that they premiered on tape or dvd and came off looking like a high school video arts production that earned a D-minus. :grin:

Fair 'nuff, but opinion is what this thread is about. :wink:

Ethereal
01-20-2016, 05:38 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh2ebPxhoLs

Walked out with my friend after fifteen minutes. Disappointing, because I think Gyllenhaal is a good actor.

sachem
01-20-2016, 05:52 PM
The Happy Hooker.

The book was better.

PolWatch
01-20-2016, 06:00 PM
Any movie with Sylvester Stallone...

Matty
01-20-2016, 06:05 PM
Scarface.

Hal Jordan
01-20-2016, 06:07 PM
Hard to say - there are so many really sucky movies - saw most of these on DVD, and wish I hadn't wasted so many hours of my life.

Titanic (I read somewhere they got every historic detail they could wrong - including the ship's purser running around with a gun.)
The Sound of Music - Eew - I was hoping they would all get shot.
All the Star Wars series - totally unbelievable tosh!
Braveheart - 14th century Scots running around with blue painted faces (didn't happen since the Celts of Roman times) - strong contender for the worst, together with -
The Patriot - described by Time as one of the most historically misleading films ever, and as "pure, blatant American Hollywood propaganda. A complete whitewashing of history.”

I guess that's enough to be getting on with - should be something there to offend everyone. :grin:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVcUNdhe0ps

So, for the worst movie I've ever seen, I have to go with Traffic. It's the only movie I've ever rented and been unable to force myself to finish, and I've rented some terrible crap. I still can't believe that pile of crap won an Oscar.

William
01-20-2016, 07:24 PM
So, for the worst movie I've ever seen, I have to go with Traffic. It's the only movie I've ever rented and been unable to force myself to finish, and I've rented some terrible crap. I still can't believe that pile of crap won an Oscar.

I haven't seen it (and it's actually called Trafic,) but maybe the French sense of humour is too different for most Americans. My uncle says Europeans tend to make films about life as it is, but Americans make films about life as they would like it to be - so all the 'happy endings'. I haven't seen many French films, but I did see a very old comedy called 'La Cage aux Folles', and while it was quite naughty, I thought it was hilarious.

And tastes in comedy can be different - like the most unfunny man I have ever seen on film is Steve Martin, but he seems very popular (but again, those were also very old movies). :)

Matty
01-20-2016, 07:29 PM
I haven't seen it (and it's actually called Trafic,) but maybe the French sense of humour is too different for most Americans. My uncle says Europeans tend to make films about life as it is, but Americans make films about life as they would like it to be - so all the 'happy endings'. I haven't seen many French films, but I did see a very old comedy called 'La Cage aux Folles', and while it was quite naughty, I thought it was hilarious.

And tastes in comedy can be different - like the most unfunny man I have ever seen on film is Steve Martin, but he seems very popular (but again, those were also very old movies). :)


He was not talking about a French film. He was talking about the movie Traffic


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0181865/

hanger4
01-20-2016, 07:44 PM
Napoleon Dynamite

Safety
01-20-2016, 07:46 PM
Soul Plane or Snakes on a plane...it's a toss up.

Hal Jordan
01-20-2016, 09:45 PM
I haven't seen it (and it's actually called Trafic,) but maybe the French sense of humour is too different for most Americans. My uncle says Europeans tend to make films about life as it is, but Americans make films about life as they would like it to be - so all the 'happy endings'. I haven't seen many French films, but I did see a very old comedy called 'La Cage aux Folles', and while it was quite naughty, I thought it was hilarious.

And tastes in comedy can be different - like the most unfunny man I have ever seen on film is Steve Martin, but he seems very popular (but again, those were also very old movies). :)

It's Traffic, an American film about drugs with an overuse of orange and blue colour lenses and a complete lack of anything interesting. It's a far cry from a French comedy film.

Hal Jordan
01-20-2016, 09:46 PM
Napoleon Dynamite

Definitely an extremely overrated movie.

Cthulhu
01-20-2016, 09:48 PM
Worst movie: the Marine.

I wanted to commit seppuku.

With a spoon.

Sent from my evil, baby seal-clubbing cellphone.

Cigar
01-20-2016, 09:50 PM
Scarface.

http://www.allfordmustangs.com/forums/attachments/5-0l-tech/97494d1272653036-lb-injectors-over-600-rwhp-added-pics-tony-montana-scarface-say-hello-my-little-friend1.jpg

Standing Wolf
01-20-2016, 09:51 PM
In the '70s, I drove out of a bad movie - at a drive-in, obviously...I think it was something called War Gods of the Deep. In the early '80s I walked out of an on-base theatre, the ticket for which probably cost me all of a quarter, during a showing of a horrendously embarrassing Jerry Lewis film called Hardly Working. Oh, and at another on-base theatre, I walked out of The Valachi Papers, right after the scene where Charles Bronson castrates a guy and then walks out with the evidence in a tablecloth. (After seven seasons of Sons of Anarchy, I'm not nearly as squeamish as I used to be.)

Cigar
01-20-2016, 09:53 PM
This Movie Never Had a Chance

http://houseofgeekery.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/w_000.jpg

Hal Jordan
01-20-2016, 09:57 PM
Worst movie: the Marine.

I wanted to commit seppuku.

With a spoon.

Sent from my evil, baby seal-clubbing cellphone.

Why a spoon, brother?

Standing Wolf
01-20-2016, 09:58 PM
I liked Napoleon Dynamite a lot, but no one else in my family did. It seems to be saying that it's okay to be a little weird, even self-delusional, if you've got a good heart. I thought it was very funny in spots.

Standing Wolf
01-20-2016, 10:00 PM
This Movie Never Had a Chance

http://houseofgeekery.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/w_000.jpg

Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney is not to be missed. Dreyfuss absolutely nailed him.

Cthulhu
01-20-2016, 11:09 PM
Why a spoon, brother?
To honor one of the great actors of our time -

https://youtu.be/MhfuuKiTcYQ

Sent from my evil, baby seal-clubbing cellphone.

Hal Jordan
01-20-2016, 11:23 PM
To honor one of the great actors of our time -

https://youtu.be/MhfuuKiTcYQ

Sent from my evil, baby seal-clubbing cellphone.

Sorry, I misquoted. I should have said cousin.

Crepitus
01-20-2016, 11:30 PM
Napoleon Dynamite
My son said the same thing when I asked him.

ThaiBoxer
01-21-2016, 01:37 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh2ebPxhoLs

Walked out with my friend after fifteen minutes. Disappointing, because I think Gyllenhaal is a good actor.

That was an awesome movie brah. You don't know what you're talking about

HoneyBadger
01-21-2016, 01:50 AM
So, for the worst movie I've ever seen, I have to go with Traffic. It's the only movie I've ever rented and been unable to force myself to finish, and I've rented some terrible crap. I still can't believe that pile of crap won an Oscar.

I couldn't finish it either. Pure crap.

Green Arrow
01-21-2016, 01:55 AM
It's a toss-up between Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Eragon.

Keep in mind I am a HUGE Star Wars fan, I'm 24 years old and still have a Star Wars blanket. So when I say that a Star Wars movie was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, it means something.

Green Arrow
01-23-2016, 11:45 PM
Hard to say - there are so many really sucky movies - saw most of these on DVD, and wish I hadn't wasted so many hours of my life.

Titanic (I read somewhere they got every historic detail they could wrong - including the ship's purser running around with a gun.)
The Sound of Music - Eew - I was hoping they would all get shot.
All the Star Wars series - totally unbelievable tosh!
Braveheart - 14th century Scots running around with blue painted faces (didn't happen since the Celts of Roman times) - strong contender for the worst, together with -
The Patriot - described by Time as one of the most historically misleading films ever, and as "pure, blatant American Hollywood propaganda. A complete whitewashing of history.”

I guess that's enough to be getting on with - should be something there to offend everyone. :grin:

Kindly point out what film has ever been historically accurate :tongue:

William
01-24-2016, 01:56 AM
Kindly point out what film has ever been historically accurate :tongue:

I dunno, but if like Titanic, Braveheart, and The Patriot, they are portraying historical events, shouldn't they be at least reasonably accurate? Like loads of people would know that pursers on British ocean liners don't carry guns, that 14th century Scots warriors didn't paint their faces blue, and that British troopers didn't burn people alive in churches during the Revolutionary War. Does Hollywood not realise that? :huh:

Green Arrow
01-24-2016, 02:04 AM
I dunno, but if like Titanic, Braveheart, and The Patriot, they are portraying historical events, shouldn't they be at least reasonably accurate? Like loads of people would know that pursers on British ocean liners don't carry guns, that 14th century Scots warriors didn't paint their faces blue, and that British troopers didn't burn people alive in churches during the Revolutionary War. Does Hollywood not realise that? :huh:

They weren't portraying historical events, they were specifically written and directed to illustrate Mel Gibson's biases against the United Kingdom. The intent was never to be historically accurate. Hollywood's one purpose has always been to make money, and ridiculous gobs of it. A Titanic, Braveheart, or Patriot that are completely historically accurate would have been terribly boring movies. That's not a bad thing if you're just a history buff but if you're an industry that wants to make ridiculous gobs of money, it's a terrible miscalculation.

The three movies were made to entertain people, not to serve as textbooks.

JVV
01-24-2016, 02:30 AM
Ishtar

Santa Claus (1985) with Dudley Moore

JVV
01-24-2016, 02:34 AM
It's a toss-up between Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Eragon.

Keep in mind I am a HUGE Star Wars fan, I'm 24 years old and still have a Star Wars blanket. So when I say that a Star Wars movie was one of the worst movies I've ever seen, it means something.


Yes, Eragon was very bad.

decedent
01-24-2016, 02:40 AM
All Adam Sandler movies except "Punch Drunk Love." Eddie Murphy movies being a close second. And 99% of movies made before 1977. Every movie that my friends recommend.

Standing Wolf
01-24-2016, 11:38 AM
I've seen most of the movies you guys have listed and I'm sticking with Ice Pirates. I'm not talking about "historical inaccuracies" or bad just bad dialog or production values or plotting...this movie is the absolute perfect storm of ungodly awfulness.

William
01-24-2016, 09:34 PM
They weren't portraying historical events, they were specifically written and directed to illustrate Mel Gibson's biases against the United Kingdom. The intent was never to be historically accurate. Hollywood's one purpose has always been to make money, and ridiculous gobs of it. A Titanic, Braveheart, or Patriot that are completely historically accurate would have been terribly boring movies. That's not a bad thing if you're just a history buff but if you're an industry that wants to make ridiculous gobs of money, it's a terrible miscalculation.

The three movies were made to entertain people, not to serve as textbooks.

Fair 'nuff! I didn't know Mel Gibson was biased against the UK, I thought he just hated Jews (like as if that isn't bad enough). Actually, I saw a really old black and white film on DVD called 'A Night to Remember' about the sinking of the Titanic - it was made like fifty years ago, but it had drama and excitement without being OTT. Why can't Hollywood do that? :smiley:


On April 14, 1912, just before midnight, the “unsinkable” Titanic struck an iceberg. In less than three hours, it had plunged to the bottom of the sea, taking with it more than 1,500 of its 2,200 passengers. In his unforgettable render*ing of Walter Lord’s book of the same name, the acclaimed British director Roy Ward Baker depicts with sensitivity, awe, and a fine sense of tragedy the ship’s last hours. Featuring remarkably restrained performances, A Night to Remember is cinema’s subtlest and best dramatization of this monumental twentieth-century catastrophe.
https://www.criterion.com/films/521-a-night-to-remember

IMPress Polly
02-08-2016, 05:24 PM
The worst movie I've ever seen before was a 2001 explicitly Christian picture I was forced to see four times at the church my aunt made the family go to when she visited, where they apparently thought it was an awesome flick. The film was called Extreme Days. It's a sophomoric and extremely judgmental "true love waits" movie where the standard is that thou shalt not kiss before marriage and the jokes revolve such things as farts and racial stereotypes. But there are lots of "extreme" sports sequences (with terrible production values, e.g. shaky camera, not-so-atmospheric background music, etc.), so it must be cool, right?

Words cannot begin to describe how terrible Extreme Days is. You must see at least some of it for yourself in order to believe it. Therefore I provide you now with the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZIZVoGONzY

Bearing in mind that trailers attempt to cast the film they represent in the BEST possible light, this reminds me of a little scripture. To paraphrase from the Bible, even their best efforts are as filthy rags before the viewing audience. There is simply no way to make Extreme Days look like a good, funny, cool, or interesting movie no matter how hard you try. You, viewer, will MISS the likes of Adam Sandler and Michael Bay long before this movie concludes! That's how objectively terrible this picture is.

Doublejack
02-08-2016, 05:32 PM
Oh yes.. I forgot Fiddler on the Roof.

Maybe the movie wasn't so bad, I wouldn't know due to being forced to watch it as a kid.

I was around 12 or 13 and it was a toss-up between Fiddler OR the new Star Trek movie!

My step bro and I were locked in for Star Trek obviously but my sister got to chose because it was her birthday. She picked Fiddler because it was 10 minutes shorter than Star Trek and she was hungry. FFFFFFFFfffffffuuuuuuuccckkkkkk......

That was incredibly painful and left life long scars on my brain.