How to Say “No”— Plain and Simple Lessons from a solo year at home
How to Say “No”— Plain and Simple - Lessons from a solo year at home
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I have finally learned how to say “no.” I am 43. It’s taken now 25 years of my adult life to get comfortable with these two tiny letters. Why? Three reasons, the combination of which is the perfect storm for someone like me: (1) I am a people-pleaser; (2) humans are really needy and demanding, even more-so now that they are trapped at home; and (3) we live in a “say yes to life” culture. But, of all the things that the pandemic has taught me, this is probably the most powerful one: “No” is the new “yes.” Let’s break it down:
One, I am a people-pleaser. Maybe you are, too. (Thanks, Anne C. Frazier for your work and writing on people-pleasing. It has been truly helpful.) For many years of my life, if you said the sky was green, I would say, “You know, it does look a little green today.” I would find the green. I would find some speck or ray or shadow of the clearly blue sky and call it green. Hunter. Lime. Olive. Fern. Pick a shade. There must be some green in there. I made it my mission — in a nanosecond — to find the green.
Two, people are really needy and demanding. Say what you want about humanity, but everyone is out to get what they want. There is often no malice to the action (sometimes, in fact, there is), but people look to others for validation, love, and acceptance. We’re hard-wired for it. It’s just in our DNA. It’s even in our founding Declaration as a nation. We’re 328 million people constantly pursuing happiness.
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Read the rest here: https://juliovincent.medium.com/how-...le-de2073b52f8
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Originally Posted by FindersKeepers
