How To Make Friends, In Case You’ve Forgotten

[DGUtley]

How To Make Friends, In Case You’ve Forgotten - A psychologist gives tips for the long-forgotten act of socializing...

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Around two years of staying home, social distancing, and keeping to our “social bubbles” might have slowed the spread of a virus, but for many people, it also stopped the forming of new friendships.

Socializing IRL, after all, is a skill, said JR Ilagan, a clinical psychologist based in the Philippines. And any skill left unused will get rusty. “Evolutionarily speaking, the reason that we were able to get to where we are right now as a species, a big factor of that, were the social bonds,” said Ilagan. According to him, social bonds can increase one’s sense of belonging and purpose, boost happiness, reduce stress, and improve self-confidence and self-worth. It also helps us cope with trauma and teaches us to work together.

While technology has advanced digital communication, Ilagan said Zoom calls and messenger chats can’t take the place of face-to-face interactions. “There’s also physical touch, reading of certain non-verbals, that can contribute to the maintenance and fostering of relationships.”


Making friends is good for you and for the world. But how do you do it?




https://www.vice.com/en/article/3ab3...ps-as-an-adult

[midcan5]

We've often discussed how many friends does one have in life, real friends not acquaintances. I come from a large family, so especially today it is family who are friends. That's not a given for some family may believe or be part of something that makes closeness hard. I think in HS and the military I had my closest friends. As a cyclist I've also had freinds but not as close. Challenging yourself with others can make for friendships. Also hobbies can too. Hmm... my wife may be my best friend today as she puts up with me....lol


"I woke up one morning and found that everything had been replaced by an exact replica. So I called my best friend and told him that everything in my room had been replaced by an exact replica. He said, 'Do I know you?'" Steven Wright


"Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long." Robert Staughton Lynd


"Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes." Jack Kornfield


"To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect." Oren Arnold

[DGUtley]

One of my friends I have had since we were in diapers. I consider him my brother.

[FindersKeepers]

My closest friends include some I've had since childhood and, of course, family.

But, I'm not really interested in making new friends. I don't have time for them. I don't mind going out to lunch or dinner occasionally with acquaintances, but I don't really want any additional close friendships.

I enjoy the company of many, but I'm not too thrilled about welcoming them into my life on a regular basis. I turn down a lot of invitations. Graciously, of course.

I'm very focused on what I want to do and I don't like others getting in the way of that. My family, and the friends I have already, are very supportive of me--as I am of them--so why ruin a good thing by bringing others into my life? I mean, if by some odd chance I meet someone I think would be a terrific friend, I guess that would be okay. But, I'm not going to go out specifically looking for friendships. I don't really understand people who say they are lonely. I'm happiest by myself--with my dogs.

[Peter1469]

My closest friends include some I've had since childhood and, of course, family.

But, I'm not really interested in making new friends. I don't have time for them. I don't mind going out to lunch or dinner occasionally with acquaintances, but I don't really want any additional close friendships.

I enjoy the company of many, but I'm not too thrilled about welcoming them into my life on a regular basis. I turn down a lot of invitations. Graciously, of course.

I'm very focused on what I want to do and I don't like others getting in the way of that. My family, and the friends I have already, are very supportive of me--as I am of them--so why ruin a good thing by bringing others into my life? I mean, if by some odd chance I meet someone I think would be a terrific friend, I guess that would be okay. But, I'm not going to go out specifically looking for friendships. I don't really understand people who say they are lonely. I'm happiest by myself--with my dogs.

I get this ^^^.

[Collateral Damage]

I'm dealing with the loss of my life-long best friend since 2nd grade, she passed April 11. Cause currently unknown.

My sister was my other best friend. She passed in 2014.

My spouse is my third best friend. I have my brother, and while I love him and would do anything for him, we've never had that true friendship. I adore most of my extended family, we have a reunion coming up in a few weeks, but 3 days and I've had my fill for another couple of years. Other than that, I have acquaintances in the different hobbies I dabble in, gardening, reading, genealogy, work.

As FK said, if the right person comes along at the right time, a friendship might be born, but I don't seek one.

[Abby08]

I know how to make friends, I just don't care to.

All through school, I had some really good friends but, just one whom I called my best friend, we kinda went our separate ways back in high school, when our lives took different directions, I haven't had a close friend since.

Part of it I think is, moving every 2-3 years, for 20 years, I'd make friends then, either I or, they, moved, couldn't really develop those close relationships.

Now, at this age, I really don't want that type of friendship, I'm perfectly happy not, meeting for coffee or going to lunch or, sitting around and gossiping......I like where I am now in my life, I have everything I need.

[jigglepete]

A friend (lol) put it this way, when you meet someone you almost always quickly place them in one of three categories. 1) "Well, that was fun but I gotta run" In other words, the person you just met is an $#@! 2) "That was enjoyable, maybe we'll hang out again sometime." In other words, nice but not making dinner reservations anytime soon. and 3) "Wow I think I just met my soul mate/brother from another mother/sister from another mister/partner in crime etc...#3 doesn't happen often, but when it does it's simply glorious.