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Thread: From Gab: I Enjoyed These and Hope You Will Too

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    MisterVeritis's Avatar Senior Member
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    From Gab: I Enjoyed These and Hope You Will Too


    Baghdad Bob
    @Disinformation_Minister


    Because we all need a laugh:

    My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
    'No,' she answered.
    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

    ... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

    And that's when the fight started...

    _____________________________

    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
    reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
    drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, "Do you know him?"
    "Yes", she sighed,
    "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
    right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
    hasn't been sober since."

    "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
    celebrating that long?"

    And then the fight started...

    ________________________________

    My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, "What's on TV?"
    I said, "Dust."

    And then the fight started...

    _______________________________

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

    I bought her a bathroom scale.

    And then the fight started......

    ______________________________

    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
    for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me

    for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets

    and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that

    I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
    So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

    She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, 'You should have dropped
    your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

    And then the fight started...

    ________________________________

    My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

    She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
    "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
    to pay me a compliment.'

    I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

    And then the fight started........

    ________________________________

    I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

    The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
    He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
    So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

    That's how the fight started.

    ________________________________

    One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
    as a Christmas gift...

    The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
    When she asked me why, I replied,
    "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started.


    Last edited by MisterVeritis; 06-22-2022 at 01:12 PM.
    Call your state legislators and insist they approve the Article V convention of States to propose amendments.


    I pledge allegiance to the Constitution as written and understood by this nation's founders, and to the Republic it created, an indivisible union of sovereign States, with liberty and justice for all.

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MisterVeritis For This Useful Post:

    Captdon (06-22-2022),carolina73 (06-22-2022),Dr. Who (06-22-2022),Peter1469 (06-22-2022),The Booman (06-22-2022)

  3. #2
    Original Ranter
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    Funny stuff.
    ΜOΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ


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    MisterVeritis (06-22-2022)

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    Jen's Avatar Senior Member
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    I just happen to have a picture of the man who said all of these things you just posted.

    Here it is:

    cornholio.jpg


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    carolina73 (06-22-2022),MisterVeritis (06-22-2022)

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    Captdon's Avatar Senior Member
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    What a great way to lighten things up around here.
    Liberals are a clear and present danger to our nation
    Pick your enemies carefully.






  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Captdon For This Useful Post:

    MisterVeritis (06-22-2022)

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