The need for change

[Peter1469]

I know I wont have much longer until D-Day. Did my Will and Testament and sent it to my best bud. My emphesema has gotten worse, and now I have a heart murmor. So I tossing so much stuff, books especially and old tools and such. I can't cheat the Grim reaper, am 77 now. I don't care what they do with my useless carcass, the Dumpster fire awaits me!

Don't die in a trailer park. Use your credit card to get a suite with a view.

[Just AnotherPerson]

I'm very much in the same place right now, only worse. The overwhelming amount of "stuff" I need to be rid of is actually paralyzing. In my case it's mostly books and baseball bats. I was heavily into collecting major and minor league bats, jerseys and other game-used items for twenty years, and it sort of got out of hand. Some of my higher-end jerseys and bats have done very well at auction, but the lesser stuff - it's tough to even give it away. Which at this point I'm really tempted to do. The books - it's hopeless. Some folks from the Visiting Nurse Service came and picked up 35 boxes for their annual sale a couple of weeks ago, and it didn't even make a small dent.

I've told the story before here about how I somehow became the family "cleaner out of dead relatives' houses". I did my parents' large house, my grandfather's place, my sister-in-law's condo and just last year my own sister's home. So I am very well acquainted with what it's like to spend days (or in the case of my parents' place, more than a week) sifting through the remains of somebody's life and deciding what stays in the family, what goes to the Goodwill, and what ends up in a landfill. It's certainly not something I want my own wife and kids to have to deal with when I assume room temperature.

Coincidentally, I've decided to spend a good part of today fighting my way into one corner of the master bedroom. I seem to recall that there's a desk back there - somewhere.

I can at least understand your situation because of my mother. She is a collector of antiques and her house is pretty full. Then she ended up with her fathers household on top of that when he passed. I can see how it can be overwhelming.

I can only imagine how tough it must have been having to sort through your loved one's lives like that. Honestly I don't think I could do it. I might be one of those people who just leaves it the way it is and sometime in the future it is found with dust covering everything. I just wouldn't want to disturb the way they used it last. I know that's not practical though someone still has to pay the taxes and all that.

That's good that you were able to auction some of the things that helps. I used to buy books too but I didn't have a collection like yours though. For me it was like 3 book cases worth. I used to go to the library a lot in the days before I had the internet. : ) I just loved spending time there. When I used to live in Arizona they had awesome libraries and book stores. I used to go to this giant bookstore and could just spend hours in there. I would always come out with books when I visited the library book sale section or the bookstore.

When I moved "a few times ago" I traded most of my books on craigslist for a camping chair which I still have. Now I only have only a small stack of my favorite books. All of my books fit on just three shelves of my book case. I totally get the love for books. I know for me even if I didn't read them I just wanted to have them. Lol. It sounds to me like you have a true library. If you could build bookshelves all the way to the ceiling with ladders you would be in business. : ) That would be really awesome actually.

I feel the paralyzing thing when it comes to the small sentimental items, I think that's a good word for it. I just freeze up and close the box back up and shelve it back where it was.

Cheers to finding that desk. : )

[Just AnotherPerson]

I want less.

Same here. I want to simplify what I have and be more practical. I still remember that time years ago when you told me something along the lines of having only one good knife and one good pan. I remember I really liked that. I guess that's kind of the concept I am going for get rid of the useless clutter and trade it for what is useful.

[Just AnotherPerson]

I had to go through much of what you describe late last year because of what I hope to be the final move!

While painful at first it was a good thing to organize and make some choices about what stays and what goes. I even had stuff that was still in storage boxes from a move some 16 years previous. Even discovered a few things I thought I had lost.

So true that is one thing about moving it really does force you to purge a little. : ) I still had boxes that I hadn't sorted from three years ago. You really can find some treasures in those boxes. You can also find that some of the things are easier to part with and you wonder why you ever kept them. Lol.

[Just AnotherPerson]

A suggestion for the knickknacks that have sentimental value: Get a small display case and put several of the knickknacks in the case. Keep the rest in a box in the closet. Every month, switch them out, so you don't display them all, all of the time, plus, if they're in a case, they won't gather dust!

That's the best way to do it. For me most of my sentimental items are in boxes, bins and taking up my dresser in my bedroom. I don't really do nick nacks at all. I have an angel my father bought me because he said it looked like me. One small glass turtle that my little sister bought me and that is the extent of it. My mother has several cases like you mentioned and they do look lovely. I smiled when I read you comment it made me think of my grandmother she used to redecorate all of the time and would store her decorations in boxes and trade them out. She was so wonderful at decorating.

I kind of admire my father he lives like a minimalist totally opposite of my mother. In his living room he basically has one painting on the wall two sofas and a tv and that's it. I mean that's it. His house is pure space. I don't think I could ever take it to that extreme. I think I fall somewhere between my mother and father.

[Dr. Who]

That's the best way to do it. For me most of my sentimental items are in boxes, bins and taking up my dresser in my bedroom. I don't really do nick nacks at all. I have an angel my father bought me because he said it looked like me. One small glass turtle that my little sister bought me and that is the extent of it. My mother has several cases like you mentioned and they do look lovely. I smiled when I read you comment it made me think of my grandmother she used to redecorate all of the time and would store her decorations in boxes and trade them out. She was so wonderful at decorating.

I kind of admire my father he lives like a minimalist totally opposite of my mother. In his living room he basically has one painting on the wall two sofas and a tv and that's it. I mean that's it. His house is pure space. I don't think I could ever take it to that extreme. I think I fall somewhere between my mother and father.

I don't collect knickknacks either, however I do like art, so I have paintings, prints, wall sculptures and even wooden masks. I find totally naked walls sterile and cold, like no one lives there. On the other hand, with very few exceptions, I loathe wallpaper although I don't mind textured plain wallpaper. The idea of going from room to room and finding different patterns everywhere gives me hives. LOL.

[Just AnotherPerson]

I don't collect knickknacks either, however I do like art, so I have paintings, prints, wall sculptures and even wooden masks. I find totally naked walls sterile and cold, like no one lives there. On the other hand, with very few exceptions, I loathe wallpaper although I don't mind textured plain wallpaper. The idea of going from room to room and finding different patterns everywhere gives me hives. LOL.

I do remember that you told me before that you are an artist. I bet your art collections are amazing. Almost all of my walls are bare. But in the living room I have one set of warm string lights. It's kind of childish but I really love them. I have one thing hanging on one wall and that is a calligraphy style painting that I asked my loved one to make that says, "this too must pass". No matter where I move to I always rehang it in a place where I can see it daily. Oh and by my loved ones hobby desk there is a map on the wall. I am buying some more maps to hang on the walls. I have several that I used to hang up in other places that I have lived but have been enjoying the space and clean walls.

I am totally with you on the wallpaper. I did laugh when you said it gave you the hives. I get that. But I do have one exception my mother lives in a historical house and it has wallpaper and it looks pretty nice.

Did you ever get to start doing the paintings like you wanted? I think I remember you saying that you wanted to start working on some paintings when you had the time. I hope I'm remembering that right.

[Dr. Who]

I do remember that you told me before that you are an artist. I bet your art collections are amazing. Almost all of my walls are bare. But in the living room I have one set of warm string lights. It's kind of childish but I really love them. I have one thing hanging on one wall and that is a calligraphy style painting that I asked my loved one to make that says, "this too must pass". No matter where I move to I always rehang it in a place where I can see it daily. Oh and by my loved ones hobby desk there is a map on the wall. I am buying some more maps to hang on the walls. I have several that I used to hang up in other places that I have lived but have been enjoying the space and clean walls.

I am totally with you on the wallpaper. I did laugh when you said it gave you the hives. I get that. But I do have one exception my mother lives in a historical house and it has wallpaper and it looks pretty nice.

Did you ever get to start doing the paintings like you wanted? I think I remember you saying that you wanted to start working on some paintings when you had the time. I hope I'm remembering that right.

I started doing some watercolors but I got distracted by our decision to move to the countryside and our search for a property to buy. That finally came to fruition in November and we purchased a property about a thousand miles away. My BIL is staying there now as he will be living with us. In the meantime, we've had to sell the place where we are living now. It closes in a couple of weeks, so we are purging 40 years worth of stuff. I'm being unmerciful. If it's not art and it hasn't been used for several years, out it goes. When we pass, no one is going on a historical dig through our house. So, I haven't had the time or really the right frame of mind to indulge in my art as I would have liked. I plan to rectify that when we move. My retirement property is surrounded by fir trees on almost seven acres. Beyond the trees are farms and it's just a few minutes drive from the ocean - far enough away to mitigate the full brunt of the hurricanes that are generally fairly spent once they hit northern latitudes and away from the hubbub of the seasonal onslaught of tourists. However, we are only 15 minutes from a small city with reasonable health care services, several supermarkets and other shopping.

[Just AnotherPerson]

I started doing some watercolors but I got distracted by our decision to move to the countryside and our search for a property to buy. That finally came to fruition in November and we purchased a property about a thousand miles away. My BIL is staying there now as he will be living with us. In the meantime, we've had to sell the place where we are living now. It closes in a couple of weeks, so we are purging 40 years worth of stuff. I'm being unmerciful. If it's not art and it hasn't been used for several years, out it goes. When we pass, no one is going on a historical dig through our house. So, I haven't had the time or really the right frame of mind to indulge in my art as I would have liked. I plan to rectify that when we move. My retirement property is surrounded by fir trees on almost seven acres. Beyond the trees are farms and it's just a few minutes drive from the ocean - far enough away to mitigate the full brunt of the hurricanes that are generally fairly spent once they hit northern latitudes and away from the hubbub of the seasonal onslaught of tourists. However, we are only 15 minutes from a small city with reasonable health care services, several supermarkets and other shopping.

It's so much work to move but it's so worth it. It sounds like an exciting time, at least for me it is when we do it. It's somehow a good thing to let go of what we had before and start anew. I have been tempted recently to put my house up for sale. It feels like we are at the top of the market and it seems like selling right now would be the smart move. But it's a tough call because of my health, and where I live is near perfect. Of course there will always be some things about your property or house layout that could have been better but overall it's good.

Your new property sounds like absolute heaven and a place with plenty of fresh air and inspiration for your art. I hope you get to take lots of walks on the beach, it sounds amazing. A 15 min drive is a really good distance for getting to the stores. I have to drive an hour but it's worth it because I am living where I want to be. Every time I drive home and see the trees I always say thank you inside.

[Standing Wolf]

... Cheers to finding that desk. : )

Yes, I found the desk, and it was completely covered with 2-foot high stacks of books.

One thing that I hope to do while I'm still able to is to make some kind of record identifying certain objects as family heirlooms (or things that I believe should be)...as having belonged to so-and-so, or made by whoever. I'm sure I tossed or let go to auction items that meant a lot to someone in the family, but I had no clue and there was no one left alive to inform me. Just a written list of things and a brief history, stored with the items themselves, would be really helpful to the survivors.

When I cleaned out my sister's house I found a nicely framed old photographic portrait of a girl of about eleven or twelve that appeared to be from the '40s or earlier, but with no identifying marks on it at all. I very much suspect that she was a member of my family, and the photo was obviously important to my sister, but I may never know who the girl was, and that's a little sad.

... I totally get the love for books. I know for me even if I didn't read them I just wanted to have them. ...

In its extreme form, that compulsion is known as "bibliomania" - but the Japanese actually consider the amassing of large amounts of reading material with no serious intention of ever reading it an art form called "tsundoku".